Andy and Julia are one of my favorite couples. Whether is be playing Nerts at our house, trivia, or just hanging out, we always have a great time. I was honored to be asked to shoot their wedding. What a wedding it was! Urban Light Studios in Greenwood is a photo/video studio that has a great environment to get hitched and take photos. The great combination made for a lot of ideas. Actually, there were more ideas than we had time for! Good luck in the future, you two. Laura and I love you guys and are so happy to be among your friends! It was obvious from all the people and words at your wedding that your influence is wide and deep.
It was really good getting to know Kerstin and Mike. They met through mutual friends and when Mike was deployed with the Army to Iraq, they stayed in touch and grew their relationship. He is currently based here in Washington, but their wedding will be back in their home state of South Carolina before Mike is deployed again. Best wishes to the two of you. I thoroughly enjoyed being your engagement photographer.
Thanks to my good buddy, Timothy Dyk as well for his assistance. He is part of a project called Sex and Money: A National Search for Human Worth, and will be touring around the United States this summer. Check out his blog, http://timothycdyk.wordpress.com/ and find out how you can get involved!
My church asked me to talk about poverty a little bit to tie into a message about how much money we spend at Christmas and what we spend our money. He asked us to think about how much we spend on people or how much people spend on us that is wasted because we don’t like the gift or whatever.
Anyway, he asked me to put something together for the service, kind of like a voice from within Northshore (the church i go to). So, I asked Devin to help. We shot it all on a Nikon D300s, 50mm f/1.4 with a RØDE microphone with video lights in front of a huge seamless backdrop.
The song is Needles and Thread by Sleeping at Last.
A few years ago, a good friend of mine, Alex Fung and I went to St. Ameria’s for the first time. We were looking for a way to get involved in the community around us in Jinja, Uganda, but what we found changed our lives. We returned many times and helped establish a way for people across the world to be involved in the lives of these children who have been orphaned due to HIV, War, Violence, and the vicious cycle of poverty. Recently, Alex sent me some of the video footage that he was able to capture on a couple of the visits. Here is a brief history of the orphanage, a personal story from Edith, one of the directors, and a video of the Echo Children’s Choir of St. Ameria’s. It is a song that has brought me to tears.
Next is a new video from the people at These Numbers Have Faces. I helped them out a very little bit about a year ago when I was in South Africa. I was deeply impacted by meeting Ace, Anda, and Michael. The work that These Numbers is doing there is powerful and effective. They are currently sopporting 3 students from the township of Gugulethu to go to school. Check out the video and see what they are up to! Here is their website as well. www.thesenumbers.com
Sitting in front of an empty screen is consoling; the small blinking cursor in the sea of white reminds me of my current condition and the state of my emotions. After traveling for the last 10 months experiencing a myriad of situations, worldviews, and thought processes, my mind and spirit have been on a proverbial rollercoaster. It was a ride that I thoroughly enjoyed.
Upon arriving back in the US, my expectations were sent soaring. The Not Alone Benefit made some money for the Mercy Development Home in Ethiopia, I saw some friends and family members, and then all of the sudden I was on my way back to Kona to resume studies and work on the publication from our experiences. What I didn’t anticipate was the slight depression that landed on me almost simultaneously with my plane landing in Honolulu. Depression is something that I have struggled with in the past, almost as if whenever I look behind me it is as if a shadow is always a hundred feet behind…sometimes closer, sometimes further, and sometimes I don’t even look.
Over the last few days, I think that I have been able to identify areas in my life that the depression feeds off of. I want to deeply trust God that He is who He says He is. I should know both in my head and my heart that He is good having witnessed His amazing provision and love. There is also this seemingly inherent fear of being hurt alone, as well as some psychological and emotional wounds in need of deep tissue healing. All of that culminating with the financial stresses of going through school with hardly any of the money than is required.
Maybe it is my inability to see God as my Father. In a recent talk to the body of believers out here in Kona, Andy Byrd, an amazing man of God, gave a parallel of his relationship with His son. Asher is about 4 years old and is passionate about his love for his father. He never distrusts Andy’s ability to clothe, feed, and give good gifts to him. Andy is not God, but the reliance that Asher has on his daddy is the way I want to relate with my Heavenly Father. In fact, that is the way that faith is supposed to work. With my eyes fixed on God, the waves around me are insignificant next to the power that He has. And then there is the promise that God’s power, the power that raised Christ from the dead, is living inside of me. Why do I worry? Why do I strive for control over my life when the Perfect Father, the Creator and Sustainer of the universe is alive within me? The reality of Jesus and His life is the reality that I need to be living in, not this façade, this thin, filthy veneer that I see. It about looking beyond, looking to the reality that Christ brought – the Kingdom that He ushers in – the Kingdom that He placed within.
As I have mentioned in some of my posts, I love the thought of Love. The word has lost a lot of meaning in our time and can mean anything from a red glass window in Amsterdam paid for by the hour, to the subculture of the 70’s, to the ultimate sacrifice of Jesus Christ. The love I speak about is the unending love, the love that gives expecting nothing in return, the love that costs something, unselfish. This is the type of love that God has for the world, the type of love that I have seen the world in desperation for. What I haven’t realized or taken to heart was that the passionate, unrelenting, undistracted, devastating, and unconditional love that the world is burning for is the same love that God has for me; that He has for you. He is mesmerized by one glance from my eyes; His heart blazes at one trifling word of affection from our hearts to His. I have to know that love, I need to feel it not only for the world, but for myself. Oh, to wake up to the reality of the love of Christ – the destructive love of the relentless Lion and the tender embrace of the Lamb.
The program that I am enrolled in is expensive. It is even more expensive now that we are back in the States. The team of monthly supporters helps a great deal, but as it stands, I have no way of paying for the school fees as well as the bills that I have back home as well. I have this issue of pride with asking for others to come along-side me, joining me in accomplishing the goal and finishing the program, but after praying about what God wanted me to do, I felt that I should use the blog this week to do just that. It is a sacrifice of my pride, the idea that I should be providing for myself, and what I think the blog should be… but, in obedience, I have to.
I started PhotogenX last September and I intend to finish it. These next 6 months we will be working on a publication from our travels and experiences with injustice around the world. We want it to be a catalyst of change in the world. We are willing to be used, but we need help. I need help. My fees for the school are $4,000 just for this next 3 months and at the moment I don’t have it. I am trusting God for this provision believing that He can finish what He started. The waves of financial pressure are building all around me, but He knows exactly where I am and He is with me. If you would like to stand with me, there are many ways to do so; please let me know.
Thanks for reading about my journeys and experiences. I pray that you open yourself up to the Amazing Love and Grace that comes only through a loving relationship with Jesus Christ.
Sitting in front of an empty screen is consoling; the small blinking cursor in the sea of white reminds me of my current condition and the state of my emotions. After traveling for the last 10 months experiencing a myriad of situations, worldviews, and thought processes, my mind and spirit have been on a proverbial rollercoaster. It was a ride that I thoroughly enjoyed.
Upon arriving back in the US, my expectations were sent soaring. The Not Alone Benefit made some money for the Mercy Development Home in Ethiopia, I saw some friends and family members, and then all of the sudden I was on my way back to Kona to resume studies and work on the publication from our experiences. What I didn’t anticipate was the slight depression that landed on me almost simultaneously with my plane landing in Honolulu. Depression is something that I have struggled with in the past, almost as if whenever I look behind me it is as if a shadow is always a hundred feet behind…sometimes closer, sometimes further, and sometimes I don’t even look.
Over the last few days, I think that I have been able to identify areas in my life that the depression feeds off of. I want to deeply trust God that He is who He says He is. I should know both in my head and my heart that He is good having witnessed His amazing provision and love. There is also this seemingly inherent fear of being hurt alone, as well as some psychological and emotional wounds in need of deep tissue healing. All of that culminating with the financial stresses of going through school with hardly any of the money than is required.
Maybe it has something to do with my struggle to always see God as my Father. In a recent talk to the body of believers out here in Kona, Andy Byrd, an amazing man of God, gave a parallel of his relationship with His son. Asher is about 4 years old and is passionate about his love for his father. He never distrusts Andy’s ability to clothe, feed, and give good gifts to him. Andy is not God, but the reliance that Asher has on his daddy is the way I want to relate with my Heavenly Father. In fact, that is the way that faith is supposed to work. With my eyes fixed on God, the waves around me are insignificant next to the power that He has. And then there is the promise that God’s power, the power that raised Christ from the dead, is living inside of me. Why do I worry? Why do I strive for control over my life when the Perfect Father, the Creator and Sustainer of the universe is alive within me? The reality of Jesus and His life is the reality that I need to be living in, not this façade, this thin, filthy veneer that I see. It about looking beyond, looking to the reality that Christ brought – the Kingdom that He ushers in – the Kingdom that He placed within.
As I have mentioned in some of my posts, I love the thought of Love. The word has lost a lot of meaning in our time and can mean anything from a red glass window in Amsterdam paid for by the hour, to the subculture of the 70’s, to the ultimate sacrifice of Jesus Christ. The love I speak about is the unending love, the love that gives expecting nothing in return, the love that costs something, unselfish. This is the type of love that God has for the world, the type of love that I have seen the world in desperation for. What I haven’t realized or taken to heart was that the passionate, unrelenting, undistracted, devastating, and unconditional love that the world is burning for is the same love that God has for me; that He has for you. He is mesmerized by one glance from my eyes; His heart blazes at one trifling word of affection from our hearts to His. I have to know that love, I need to feel it not only for the world, but for myself. Oh, to wake up to the reality of the love of Christ – the destructive love of the relentless Lion and the tender embrace of the Lamb.
The program that I am enrolled in is expensive. It is even more expensive now that we are back in the States. The team of monthly supporters helps a great deal, but as it stands, I have no way of paying for the school fees as well as the bills that I have back home as well. I have this issue of pride with asking for others to come along-side me, joining me in accomplishing the goal and finishing the program, but after praying about what God wanted me to do, I felt that I should use the blog this week to do just that. It is a sacrifice of my pride, the idea that I should be providing for myself, and what I think the blog should be… but, in obedience, I have to.
I started PhotogenX last September and I intend to finish it. These next 6 months we will be working on a publication from our travels and experiences with injustice around the world. We want it to be a catalyst of change in the world. We are willing to be used, but we need help. I need help. My fees for the school are $4,000 just for this next 3 months and at the moment I don’t have it. I am trusting God for this provision believing that He can finish what He started. The waves of financial pressure are building all around me, but He knows exactly where I am and He is with me. If you would like to stand with me, there are many ways to do so; please let me know.
Thanks for reading about my journeys and experiences. I pray that you open yourself up to the Amazing Love and Grace that comes only through a loving relationship with Jesus Christ.
I would like to begin with an update from St. Ameria’s in Uganda. John Bills, a close friend of mine was recently teaching and developing ideas with leaders in Uganda. He has been with me for part of the last year and had visited St. Ameria’s. They have never left his heart either so while he was there he made sure to stop by to see how everything was doing. We had both been working to see what we could do to provide them some much needed funding and encouragement for the well being of the children (starting, as you may remember, with the bunk beds to keep the children off of the floor). Even in the short year that has passed since I left Uganda, through the money that many of you have given, St. Ameria’s has been doing some substantial construction and have also ensured other immediate needs of the children like food, clothing, and medicine are being administered. They have almost completed with the boys dormitory, but need some more money to be able to do it. I am amazed at what God has done for those children in Uganda and honored that he would let me be a part of it. If you would like to get involved, even in flying out to Uganda to help in the construction, please let me know and I would be overjoyed to give you more information.
A team from Germany came to Spain to teach us about photography. We didn’t learn heaps about photography that week, but we had major breakthroughs as a family that the students have become. Amsterdam was a difficult time for most of us, not only as a team, but on individual levels as well. We were disconnected, distraught, and visionless. In a way, we had forgotten why God had called us to do this program in the first place and, in our relation with each other, weren’t walking in love. Spain and the team from Germany provided a sort of intervention, keeping us all in the same room sharing what we were struggling with in relation to the team, ourselves, and with God. It was such a fruitful time that reignited our passion to receive and give the Father’s love freely.
[A mountain that Tim and I climbed overlooking Torremolinos]
[The lower part]
We had a week to travel around Southern Spain and North Africa as well, so the next week Aaron, Anna, and I separated from the rest of the group, who took up their own travels, and headed to Morocco. I don’t know if I have been in a more beautiful nation. Morocco has so much from cold temperature to the searing hot deserts; Atlas mountains to Mediterranean and Atlantic Coastlines. We spent the week traveling all over the country and grew to know and appreciate each other more. We shared frustrating moments and as well as those of sheer beauty and delight. We met some amazing people while traveling and at our temporary destinations. Too much happened to record it all, so be sure to check out (and comment on) Anna’s Blog which contains a daily video diary from the trip. (Anna’s Blog) Hopefully the pictures and captions will give an idea about the trip as well, maybe even better than words can in this instance.
[A hillside in Tanger, Morocco]
[Marrakesh is a city known for its craziness. It has one of the biggest markets in North Africa and competes with Addis Ababa for Africa's largest. Even on the first day, I needed to get away from it, so Scott and I headed into the back alleys away from everything else and found a small group of boys playing soccer. We spent a few minutes with them before heading back to the hostel.]
[Morocco is known for a traditional dish called Tajin. You can find it everywhere along with the spices that are included. There is so much color in Morocco, more than I ever expected.]
[Anna and Aaron on the Atlas mountain pass. Our guide, Housine, asked us to count the number of turns on the way up. We didn't, but he kept asking. When we got to the top, he wouldn't tell us how many until we gave him good guesses, but after we did he revealed that there were only 2; right and left. Clever, Housine... very clever.]
[When we were told that we would be driving through the Atlas Mountains to get to the desert, I wasn't expecting red earth, snow covered peaks, and windblown wheat fields filling the valleys. Anna and Aaron both said that it reminded them of Nepal. It just reminded me of something beautiful since I had never seen anything like it (besides maybe the Alberta Canada coat of arms).]
[Housine says that the Berber people only live in the mountains. Its possible that they came from the Mountains, but they live all over Morocco. They make up about 60% of the population if you are interested in figures. They are a warm people, a point that I will explain in another caption.]
[After driving through some diverse and amazing landscapes and biomes, we arrived at the end of the road, literally. Housine lives in a small desert town called M'Hamed and it is where the pavement ends as far as roads go. We stayed on the edge of the Sahara in Bedouin type tents at a campsite. Unlike many other of the tourist programs, it was just Aaron, Anna and I at the camp with Housine and his friends and family.]
[Housine and his family come from the tribal Tauregs that once traversed the Sahara. They are also known as Nomads or the Blue Men because of their bright blue jalebahs (long shirts). Because of the Nation-States that have invaded the African continent in the lat 200 years, whole tribes have been cut off from each other, especially with countries with closed borders like Algeria, a mere 38 kilometers from the town of M'Hamed. The once itinerant Blue Men are mostly settled down now, but the freedom of wandering is evident in the infrastructure of their towns and the remains of vacated Kasbahs (old towns with refuges) that dot the desert countryside. Who knows how long Housine's family will stay in M'Hamed?]
[After visiting the old M'Hamed Kasbah, we headed via Landrover to the Chicaga Dunes. It is one of the largest dune systems in Morocco and boasts the highest dune of 300 meters (or 990 ft). The desert is one of my favorite ecosystems and for some odd reason, I find refreshment for my spirit there.]
[A few tourists taking a rest on one of the lower dunes. We were surprised that there weren't many tourists and the dunes were relatively untouched, which was amazing for pictures.]
[Anna making the long trek to the top of the highest sand-dune. There is this innate desire to see the highest point around and climb it. We gave in to this aspiration and reached the summit with a few minutes of sunrise left.]
[Aaron and Anna at the top. We hauled Anna's MacBook to the top in order to record one of our daily video journals which can be viewed HERE on Anna's Blog. We watched the sun drop beneath the horizon and praised our Maker for His amazing creation. Soon after, we headed back to the camp and fell asleep early (before the Blue Men were finished with their rhythmic songs) so we could get up for sunrise.]
There were no thoughts of sadness, worry, or disappointment as my feet almost flew down the sand dunes in the Saharan section of Morocco. I was carefree (besides feeling that I might end up toppling end over end down the rest of the dune) experiencing excitement, joy and freedom. There are moments like this in all of our lives, some brief others long-lasting, that force us to forget about our issues no matter how big or small. In reflecting on the seemingly insignificant instance, I realized that many people as they get older don’t take the time or even feel like they can have moments they can let themselves go with childish enthusiasm to experience innocent joy and exuberance. Look for your sand dune.
[Our camp at the Chicaga dunes was surprisingly cozy despite the fine layer of dust that covered everything (including our camera equipment). The sun rewarded our early morning efforts with spectacular views of the dunes and the textures of the sand. After breakfast we piled back in the Landrover and started the long journey back to Marrakesh, 12 hours away.]
[Along the way, we stopped in a Berber village high in the Atlas mountains. We had yet to experience hospitality in the way they showed it to us. We were invited to a terrace overlooking wheat fields and mountain dwellings where we enjoyed mint tea and broken conversations. We were invited to spend a few nights up in the village, but wouldn't have had a way to get back to Marrakesh had we done so. We all want to visit Morocco again and spend much more time in the Atlas with the Berbers.]
[It is extremely difficult to get photos of women, especially in the Muslim world. Equally difficult is getting to know them and their stories. Outside of the craziness of the Marrakesh Medina, we wandered in a small community of craftsman and porters. There were no Westerners walking the streets so it was much easier to relate with the people on a personal level. Anna had been praying that she would be able to get connected with a local woman and possibly even get portraits of her. God presented the opportunity and we spent close to an hour and a half getting to know the Berber family who had come to Marrakesh. We were so blown away by their hospitality and warmth. We would all love to go back and visit them someday as well.]
[Morocco is quite famous for its leather. The largest tannery is located in Fez, but there are also quite a few large tanneries in Marrakesh as well. It is popular for tourists to go and thus popular to be led to specific tanneries by a myriad of different people, including children and inebriated men. We finally made our own way through an open door into a tannery deserted by tourists. We walked around and took some pictures before heading back to our hostel. The man on the bottom is Abdallah Azziz who showed me the whole process of tanning leathers, a process that has become his life-long profession.]
[Some of the Arab influenced architecture in Marrakesh]
[The closest coastal town to Marrakesh is Essaouira (I am still terrible at the pronunciation). Translated, the name means "windy city" and it is very windy. It is also dominated by the tourism industry. There is also a history and tradition of catching fish in the Atlantic, so a generous fishing industry also brings in revenue for the coastal community.]
[A man sits at the gate of the Essaouira medina in the traditional dress of many Moroccans, a hooded jalebah.
[One of the strays that Aaron and Anna (and I) fell in love with]
[Another of Essaouira's medina gates.]
[Aaron standing in front of a colorful backdrop composed of rugs and blankets]
[The medina walls of Essaouira]
We are in Costa Rica and Latin America for the next few weeks finalizing the phase of the track in which we travel around the world. It’s hard to believe that it has been almost 9 months already. Pray for us as we finish here, take a quick break at home, and then meet back in Kona. I will be sure to have another blog update before then.
[Brassica napus (aka rapeseed) field near Doncaster, UK]
[Snake Pass in the Pennines]
Leaving Amsterdam was bittersweet, as I had mentioned last time. Upon leaving, I flew to the middle of the United Kingdom to spend a number of days in a town called Doncaster. My uncle has been living there for the last 6 years and it is rare that I get to spend any serious time with him. Before this, I can’t remember having so much fun and such close communion with him. When I look back on this track, it will be one of the highlights. Thanks, Uncle Forest, it was such a blessing to be there with you.
[Nesting swans on Keepmoat lake in Doncaster]
[Young Lambs in a field near Snake Pass in the Pennine Range]
Driving through the winding, slithery roads of South Yorkshire,where Doncaster is located, a flood of memories came back to me. As a Member of Parliament for this area, William Wilberforce spent much of his time in the area. We can be grateful to his obedience to God in ending the slave trade in England, which set the stage for ending legal slavery all over the world. Hudson Taylor, one of the first missionaries to China was from the region as well.
These roads were rich in history, around every turn were familiar signs and names… “That was here?” Even most of the important scientific discoveries ever were made on this land by brilliant (and sometimes not so brilliant) minds. When the Western Church was expanding, Benedictine monks came to its shores and established abbeys that were vital to the reading and translating of the Bible. The Roche Valley Abbey (monastery and cathedral) was erected from 1147 to 1149 and remained an active area of studying/worship for at least 14 monks and many others for 389 years until the King Henry VIII had problems with the Catholic Church in Rome. With the dissolution of all of the monasteries in England the Roche became unoccupied and fell victim to the looting of the treasures and even stones of the buildings. Even the largest Abbey in England, the Fountains Abbey in Ripon Valley was subject to the wrath of Henry VIII. because of his issues with divorce. He broke off from the Catholic Church and formed the Anglican Church, which is still the official church in England.
[Roche Valley Abbey near Doncaster, UK]
[Fountains Abbey near Ripon, UK]
Throughout history, especially in Europe and especially with Christianity, there have been divisions, wars, moral dilemmas, and intellectual supremacy that has kept Europe in much of a Dark Age. Many missionaries ended up coming out of England and Europe, but now in Yorkshire, less than 3% of the population considers themselves Christian? What went wrong? I think that many people used Christianity to fit their own actions instead of conforming to the image of Christ in word and deed. When the Age of Enlightenment came around, they no longer even needed to hide behind the façade of Christianity, but were now accountable to no one, neither man or God.
What happened along the way? Did science give us a reason to deny the existence of a Creator? In the academic course I am enrolled in, we must read an array of books by a myriad of authors. One of the books is called “A Short History of Nearly Everything” by a distinguished author named Bill Bryson. Throughout the book (which is lengthy and a bit difficult), everything points back to the absence of order in the universe, explaining scientific theories and their holes,but doesn’t explain possible reasons for the holes. What is evident throughout the book is that we really know very little, with gaps in conjectured (some solid) theories. However observant Bryson may be, he didn’t even allude to the possibility that there could be a Creator and Sustainer of the universe. I hold to the basic principles of naturalism and evolution, but know that it was God whom spoke it all into existence; He set everything in motion and continues to work in His creation – guiding it along. But for the majority of the scientific community, science gave a reason to question. [Maybe some day, I will dedicate a whole entry to my thoughts on creation, nature, science and evolution; this entry is for other thoughts.] To sum it up,in the minds of many, Nietzsche was right… We killed God. We have lifted ourselves up to a position of thinking that we don’t need God (which we obviously do) nor should we be accountable to Him (which is the basis for all morality).
I know that the I AM lives and I need more of Him… desperately – sometimes I just lose sight of it. The first week in Spain I had a dream; literally. My dreams seem to me as a movie in which i have the starring role. In most of them, I view myself from the outside as if I was watching but then participate emotionally and psychologically with what is happening… a little hard to explain. At the start of the dream, I was in the ‘missions field’ doing work, helping people, and feeling good about myself. The scene after that I was coming in through the front door of home. It wasn’t my physical house in Denver or anything, but it had the feeling that I had arrived at my real home… After placing my small bags down I walked around. There were a few people around, but ultimately I made it back to the dining room. As I walked in, I suddenly had to stop. There in front of me was a big table almost completely empty. At the head of the table was the Father God in physical form. I never saw His face, I just knew that it was Him. I did see his arms and hands, resting on the table on both sides of an empty, untouched plate. He had been waiting for me. I felt as though I made the most important date imaginable, but had forgotten about it because I was too caught up doing my own thing. I was instantly regretful, ashamed, and guilty that I was capable of doing such a thing. Then I woke up. Throughout the morning, I came back to the dream, knowing that I am fully capable of doing good things for the wrong reasons. I am a selfish person. The dream made me examine my life and question my motives for doing anything at all. Do I live my life away from God, disregarding His willingness to have a relationship with me? Do I count Him out of my activities, unwilling to do what He wants me to do? The Bible tells me that the driving force of my life should be loving God (Luke 10:27). There is nothing more important than that, and I know if from my own experience as well. There is nothing more fulfilling. Why then is it so easy to forget? I want to be in a position where I can love God above everything else, no matter what or where that puts me (even if it’s in Siberia studying lichen or in Africa working with HIV positive people). Nothing is better than my relationship with Him. He is still there, waiting to commune with me, to fellowship with me, to speak love to me. He has been there all along. One of the most beautiful things in existence is that He wants to have a relationship with all of us on an individual, unique, and intimate level.
She has a birthday… 1977 although I would have guessed the 80’s
She has two smiles, the real one is much better
She wants to have a baby and a family
She wants to forget about this part
She hopes for something more
[One of the many alleys in the Red Light District]
Awkwardly standing in front of the window I put my heart on the line by extending my love through a white and pink rose. Droplets of water had formed on the delicate petals and had smudged the writing on the love letter than accompanied the stem. I was no one, maybe even a potential client. The message was simple – God created you, your life is important, His love for you is better than life itself.
We all need to be loved. We were created with a desire for intimacy, for deep personal connection. Amsterdam is one of the last places that you will find it.
[I was amazed at the amount of tour-groups threading through the district]
We got a small group together and started praying about what we should write to accompany the flowers that we would hand out to the girls behind the glass. We rifled through our pocket sized Bibles led by ideas and references that would speak life into a dark place. Although we didn’t get around to doing a whole lot with the ministries in the RLD because of the short time we were there, this was what God wanted us to do; possibly even the reason that we were here.
The next night we stared at all of the flowers before getting busy attaching the love notes. Someone had been looking for something to give money towards and when they heard of the Flower Campaign, the Lord provided more than enough through them. There were ten of us that were going out on delivery, carrying with us more than flowers and strips of paper.
[The Cleft is in the middle of the Red Light District and provides some amazing ministries to the lost and broken]
The time had come. We paired up and headed out. I went with Deni, one of the staff of the track. As we walked, the closer we came to our destination, the more feelings stirred in our hearts. We arrived with an arm-full of flowers. The first interaction was the most difficult and nerve-racking. As far as we knew, people just didn’t do what we were doing; there was always something else involved. I have an odd way of explaining what happened when they received the flower and knew that it was a gift… It appeared as if scales fell from their eyes. It is a weird way of explaining the phenomenon, but words escape me if I try to say it any differently. Their eyes literally changed and they became human. Now, obviously, I know that they are human, made in God’s image and deeply loved, but they have been objectified to the point that there is a disconnect with who God created them to be. So when they received something beautiful for simply being loved by God, grace came flooding in. With some it was a little more obvious than others, but I know that the messages symbolized in the flower were delivered precisely to the people they should have. It was an amazing time, I too, felt valued and loved by God.
We continued to walk, praying. We realized that we were no different from the people walking around the RLD searching. They search for the girl that will satisfy, but we know that the love of Christ and the Father is the only thing. We have all given ourselves over to selfish desires as well, searching for that element of life that will set us on fire with fulfillment. It is part of what being human is. One of my favorite authors, Brennan Manning puts it this way. “To be alive is to be broken. And to be broken is to stand in need of grace.” We all need the remarkable, exposing, and uncomplicated love of Christ. Since I have seen a glimpse, it doesn’t make me any better, because without Him, I am nothing, wretched.
[St. Nicholas Church in towers over the Red Light District (not seen here). Interestingly enough, St. Nicholas is the Patron Saint of prostitutes among other things]
We were on our way out of the district when I looked down and saw a broken flower on the ground… someone in our group had given it out. I reached down and picked up the discarded blossom saddened by what it represented. The paper was torn, the writing blurred beyond recognition. The head of the daisy was incredibly whole so I kept it, not knowing what the future would hold. As we passed the last window on our way out, my eyes met the disconnected glance of the girl who occupied it. I approached the window, again putting my hope on the line. She opened the window and we began to talk. Deni and I stood awkwardly as she explained all the scenarios of why we should come inside… It was difficult to stand there, extremely uncomfortable. Why was I standing there? Why had I found that last flower? Why this window? We eventually paid for 30 minutes of her time (how it usually works) and entered the room, flooded with red and black lights. We took off our rain soaked jackets and sat down on the bed. As we talked about life, hopes, family, and hard times, the
time flew by. 45 minutes later it was time to go, she had to get back to work, we had to go back to the base. Since then, my mind has replayed the events of that night over and over in my head… We said goodbye and I hoped that I would never see her in that window again. What can I say? What words can describe the thoughts in my head and feelings in my heart? There aren’t enough flowers.
["Window Shopping" as it is often called]
I came to Amsterdam frustrated, but left with a broken heart. I look forward to going back. It is a city of confusion, brokenness, and misguided seeking, but also a city where those who are searching can be filled with everlasting water and the Bread of Life. Where sin abounds, so does Grace(Romans 5:20).
May love flow from God into your life and from your life into the lives of others. The opportunity is ours.
In Christ, John Paul
Enjoy the Pictures!
[Bikes are super popular... it is easy to make a biker mad, just get in their way]
[People lock their bikes up everywhere]
[A little lightpainting at the "Skinny Bridge"]
[Amsterdam is famous for it's canals as well]
[The Hermitage Amsterdam... I have no idea what this one is for, but traditionally, Hermitages are religious centers]
[I really like this picture...}
[When YWAM first started in Amsterdam, the staff all lived on barges in the canals]
