You can view the complete slideshow at: http://weddings.johnvicory.com/kerstin+mike/

Thanks to my good buddy, Timothy Dyk as well for his assistance. He is part of a project called Sex and Money: A National Search for Human Worth, and will be touring around the United States this summer. Check out his blog, http://timothycdyk.wordpress.com/ and find out how you can get involved!

I asked if it was possible to have a backup plan. A harness, a net, a chute. Something to fall back on if I couldn’t make it back. Honestly, I don’t want one. I would love to hope without doubt. I would love for my mind to run free with plans of what I could do with the time that I would have in the land far away. I hope beyond to the impact that it would make. I think further to the type of man I want to be, to what God has for me, to what he has for the world. Does this all play in? Does this moment, this field experience, this research question have an impact? Would I miss something if I were to stay and find something else?

I want to go. I want it to be possible. It might not be reasonable, but it’s something that I can stand in faith for. It’s something to work towards, something to hope for. I don’t even want to ask about what would happen if it doesn’t work out because I don’t want to let myself think that this won’t happen. So I won’t. There is nothing I would rather do than to spend a month in Africa, renewing relationships with orphan care centers, investigating trends, offering myself and the gifts God has given me, and the mission that He has placed in my heart concerning the welfare of these children. What else could I do?

The sermon can be found online here : http://www.nsb.org/sermons/a-classic-christmas

Anyway, he asked me to put something together for the service, kind of like a voice from within Northshore (the church i go to). So, I asked Devin to help. We shot it all on a Nikon D300s, 50mm f/1.4 with a RØDE microphone with video lights in front of a huge seamless backdrop.

The song is Needles and Thread by Sleeping at Last.

The definition of justice in the Old Testament is vital to our understanding of justice today. Many theorists have placed the idea of inherent rights in the fourteenth century. If justice was not rooted in the Bible, then the fourteenth century definition (Wolterstorff, 2008) would be irrelevant to the contemporary Christian practice of justice. It would be based on the evolution of human thought instead of the basis of Christian faith, the Word of God.

In the Old Testament, justice was not an institution, it was a way of life (Wolterstorff, 2008, p.74). The institution came out of an understanding of inherent human rights. God loved the people of Israel, and all people, so he called them to practice justice. He held them accountable to just standards not for justices’ sake, but because of the worth that people had to God. Through the Old Testament especially, sacrifice for wrong doing is a central theme. Before God’s written law, the Patriarchs had to burn offerings to God for their repentance. Sacrifice, especially to God, would be completely unnecessary in a justice as right order context. The importance of practicing justice was made evident not only to Israel, but also to the surrounding nations. If God’s definition of justice lay in the institution of justice only, he would have no grounds for expecting the other nations to practice justice. How would the other nations know what justice really was if they didn’t have the Law of God? How did the Patriarchs know of justice or Joseph when he distributed grain for all of Egypt and the surrounding people (Genesis 41 & 47)? There was no Law at that time, but people knew because God created everyone with a sense of what is right and wrong.

The entire basis of what is right and wrong is dependent on worth. Since God has infinite worth, we ultimately deprive him of the rights in which he is due( Wolterstorff, 2008, p. 81). He created humans in his image and to deprive them of inherent rights is stripping them of worth. This is not only an act of injustice against the other person, but an injustice against God for defacing his image. This idea is fleshed out in the New Testament.

Jesus is God bringing justice to earth. It is God’s love that motivates justice. Because of God’s love for the world, he brought forgiveness, but also justice. For forgiveness to take place, the victim and perpetrator must recognize the inherent rights that God has as a perfect being and the value that he gave to humans by creating them in his image. Forgiveness cannot be separate from justice (Wolterstorff, 2008, p. 101). Jesus proved that justice was inherent and not defined by social order when he defied the social order of the day by reaching out to the diseased, afflicted, and oppressed. The forgiveness of sins by Jesus’ death on the cross is the central point of the New Testament. Since there cannot be forgiveness without the concept of justice, the entire theme of the New Testament is love and justice. The writers of the gospels showed Jesus’ love for those he came in contact with (2008, p. 117). His public interaction showed that he cared about the equality of people and highlighted the injustices that were being done to them so often. Not only was he there to lift up those who were oppressed, he came to show the backwardness of those who oppressed.

In the Old Testament, God is constantly reminding the Israelites of the bondage he brought them out of in Egypt. In the same way, we can look to Jesus as a constant reminder of the freedom from sin that we have been brought out of. We can also look back to the Old and New Testaments and see the value that God sees in every individual, whether they were called his people or not. The freedom that Christ brought on the cross and the example of love and justice that he showed during his life and death are the basis for all actions that we take as Christians. The idea of the inherent worth of humans, and the treatment of them that follows, is not an idea that originated a thousand years after Christ’s death, but is an idea that is foundational to the writings of the Old and New Testaments. Not only is it conceptual, but practical as well. God called the Israelites and the surrounding people groups to act justly in the Old Testament. In the New Testament, he lovingly gave himself as an example of the practices of justice and forgiveness. As we seek justice, we see Jesus as the perfect example of defending the poor and oppressed, and turning the idea of justice as social order upside-down.

with love, John Paul

Wolterstorff, N. (2008). Justice: Rights and Wrongs. Princeton: Princeton University Press.

“So what am I supposed to do again?” I asked my father for the third time. My car had been making a terrible noise for a couple of days. It is the sound of metal against metal… the kind of noise that told me there was a problem.

Before I left for YWAM, while I was still in college, my dad almost forced me to help him change the brakes of the 93’ Pontiac Transport SE (aka the spaceship or dustbuster). It was a project I figured I would never have to repeat.

A few days ago I decided that in order to get rid of this terrible screeching, I would have to change the brakes again… only this time, my dad wouldn’t be able to troubleshoot anything that could possibly go wrong. Even though he wasn’t there, I was confident that it would be a breeze. But within minutes, even before I took the first wheel off, I was talking to my dad on the phone, getting information, insight, and guidance. He walked me through each step, told me in detail about each of the parts and how they worked. We hung up and I put my hands to the limited and rusty tools I found in my uncle’s garage. Time passed, but before I knew it, I had my dad on the line again. Another problem, another piece of guidance, another word of encouragement. I did everything I was supposed to do but something still went wrong and I found myself sitting in 2 puddles of brake fluid. I changed the brake pads, but when I put the car in drive to test them out, my brake petal went straight to the floor without stopping the car.

I couldn’t understand what could have gone wrong. This minivan is part of my job, part of my connection; and it was broken. Another phone call to my father landed me with possibilities of all the problems, and worse, the expensive solutions. Frustrated and overwhelmed, I was stuck and it was getting late and starting to rain. I was supposed to be somewhere in Seattle at 9 the next morning. My only option was to replace the brake fluid and bleed the brakes; both of which I had no idea how to do. “You need to have the blakes bred” must have come out of my dad’s mouth a dozen times, but I was too frustrated to laugh – at the time.

After more coaching, a YouTube tutorial, and another trip to Schuck’s auto parts, my cousin and I got to work in the raid. We tried a DYI vacuum trick that looked (and worked) more like a bong from my early days. We ended up doing it the old fashioned way – my dad’s way. Seven and a half hours later, we took her for another spin, this time the brakes working quietly and efficiently. My father congratulated me on a job well done.

The next day, while I drove the beast of a van down the Maple Valley Highway I thought back to the previous day and came out with some insights on life and how I operate my life.

No matter how well I think I can do something of how effectively I think I can perform; no matter how confident I am, things tend to go wrong occasionally. I’m not always going to have my dad physically present to coach me on fixing cars or doing taxes. Errors are port of life, but they lead to growth. Even though I didn’t know that brakes could be bled, I learned how to do it and I had to learn fast. Mistakes have a way of forcing our heads up and our eyes open. We have the choice to face them and learn or to turn away from them in further ignorance. Problems break friendships, jobs, marriages, and projects, but they also have the ability enable us to grow as people, to learn and discover what may have been previously unknown and daunting.

I also thought of my relationship with my dad, which hasn’t always been very healthy. In the last few years it has grown and developed into a healthy relationship, but I realized that I called my dad when I needed something from him. We talk on occasion, but I must have spent 2 hours talking to him when the brakes went bad. The thing is, I could tell that he loved every minute that we spent on the phone. Not once did he say, “alright, I have to go”, or “why don’t we talk more often?” We had a connection over my problems. I knew that he had the answers, which is why I called him. Most times, I don’t call just to call, and that makes me sad.

What makes me more sad is that I do the same thing with my other Father. This is the one that created the sun and gives me life. This is the One that knew me and loved me before I was even born. Most of the time, I only talk to him when I need something, or when I have a problem. Lately, selfishly, I haven’t been calling simply to talk. When I call Him with my problems and issues, like my dad, He loves every minute of communicating with me. He loves the connection, the intimacy, if only for the moment. He hangs on every word and thinks about the conversation long after it has finished.

Love is not using someone for what it can give me, but it is the beauty of giving something away expecting nothing, and often not getting anything in return. I hope to be able to invest in my relationships with my dad, God, and those around me because I love them and value them. They are more than worth my time and energy. And with my dad and God especially, they are worth more than what I have been giving them and taking for myself. They are willing to give of themselves to me, but so often I have been unwilling to give of myself to them. It’s time for a change.

Masks have been created from my striving, projecting an image of myself that isn’t real or true. I have hardly anything together, yet I find myself making it look like I do. With my hands on this mask, I am unable to approach those around me with open hands and an open heart. The thing is – most people still have their hands on their masks as well. We all have these areas where we keep locked away afraid to show others who we really are, but it is better to keep in mind that we are all made of the same parts and experience similar circumstances. If I have learned on thing by spending over a year and a half overseas is that we are all human and deal with both suffering and joy it is what connects us all. Having this mindset helps in dealing with both the struggles and eases of life, especially when there are others around you saying, “I can see where you are and I am here for you.” It is not only refreshing, but it is the correct posture that we should have in relation to each other. It helps put an end to striving for the chartless end and enjoy the radiance of life – loving who we are – living the way we were meant to live.

Finding Peace, Joy, and Love in the journey is finding the treasure. I may not have everything together, but God does, and He is inviting me on this journey of discovery – learning, trying, failing, and recovering. It is a beautiful process. I want to encourage you to let go of your striving and open yourself up to enjoy God and enjoy those around you. Life is an amazing gift. We were created to live with and to live for each other. We don’t have to wait until we are good enough or sufficient enough… if we were to do so, we would never stop waiting.

Upon arriving back in the US, my expectations were sent soaring. The Not Alone Benefit made some money for the Mercy Development Home in Ethiopia, I saw some friends and family members, and then all of the sudden I was on my way back to Kona to resume studies and work on the publication from our experiences. What I didn’t anticipate was the slight depression that landed on me almost simultaneously with my plane landing in Honolulu. Depression is something that I have struggled with in the past, almost as if whenever I look behind me it is as if a shadow is always a hundred feet behind…sometimes closer, sometimes further, and sometimes I don’t even look.

Over the last few days, I think that I have been able to identify areas in my life that the depression feeds off of. I want to deeply trust God that He is who He says He is. I should know both in my head and my heart that He is good having witnessed His amazing provision and love. There is also this seemingly inherent fear of being hurt alone, as well as some psychological and emotional wounds in need of deep tissue healing. All of that culminating with the financial stresses of going through school with hardly any of the money than is required.

Maybe it is my inability to see God as my Father. In a recent talk to the body of believers out here in Kona, Andy Byrd, an amazing man of God, gave a parallel of his relationship with His son. Asher is about 4 years old and is passionate about his love for his father. He never distrusts Andy’s ability to clothe, feed, and give good gifts to him. Andy is not God, but the reliance that Asher has on his daddy is the way I want to relate with my Heavenly Father. In fact, that is the way that faith is supposed to work. With my eyes fixed on God, the waves around me are insignificant next to the power that He has. And then there is the promise that God’s power, the power that raised Christ from the dead, is living inside of me. Why do I worry? Why do I strive for control over my life when the Perfect Father, the Creator and Sustainer of the universe is alive within me? The reality of Jesus and His life is the reality that I need to be living in, not this façade, this thin, filthy veneer that I see. It about looking beyond, looking to the reality that Christ brought – the Kingdom that He ushers in – the Kingdom that He placed within.

As I have mentioned in some of my posts, I love the thought of Love. The word has lost a lot of meaning in our time and can mean anything from a red glass window in Amsterdam paid for by the hour, to the subculture of the 70’s, to the ultimate sacrifice of Jesus Christ. The love I speak about is the unending love, the love that gives expecting nothing in return, the love that costs something, unselfish. This is the type of love that God has for the world, the type of love that I have seen the world in desperation for. What I haven’t realized or taken to heart was that the passionate, unrelenting, undistracted, devastating, and unconditional love that the world is burning for is the same love that God has for me; that He has for you. He is mesmerized by one glance from my eyes; His heart blazes at one trifling word of affection from our hearts to His. I have to know that love, I need to feel it not only for the world, but for myself. Oh, to wake up to the reality of the love of Christ – the destructive love of the relentless Lion and the tender embrace of the Lamb.

The program that I am enrolled in is expensive. It is even more expensive now that we are back in the States. The team of monthly supporters helps a great deal, but as it stands, I have no way of paying for the school fees as well as the bills that I have back home as well. I have this issue of pride with asking for others to come along-side me, joining me in accomplishing the goal and finishing the program, but after praying about what God wanted me to do, I felt that I should use the blog this week to do just that. It is a sacrifice of my pride, the idea that I should be providing for myself, and what I think the blog should be… but, in obedience, I have to.

I started PhotogenX last September and I intend to finish it. These next 6 months we will be working on a publication from our travels and experiences with injustice around the world. We want it to be a catalyst of change in the world. We are willing to be used, but we need help. I need help. My fees for the school are $4,000 just for this next 3 months and at the moment I don’t have it. I am trusting God for this provision believing that He can finish what He started. The waves of financial pressure are building all around me, but He knows exactly where I am and He is with me. If you would like to stand with me, there are many ways to do so; please let me know.

Thanks for reading about my journeys and experiences. I pray that you open yourself up to the Amazing Love and Grace that comes only through a loving relationship with Jesus Christ.

In Obedience to Him,

John Paul

Upon arriving back in the US, my expectations were sent soaring. The Not Alone Benefit made some money for the Mercy Development Home in Ethiopia, I saw some friends and family members, and then all of the sudden I was on my way back to Kona to resume studies and work on the publication from our experiences. What I didn’t anticipate was the slight depression that landed on me almost simultaneously with my plane landing in Honolulu. Depression is something that I have struggled with in the past, almost as if whenever I look behind me it is as if a shadow is always a hundred feet behind…sometimes closer, sometimes further, and sometimes I don’t even look.

Over the last few days, I think that I have been able to identify areas in my life that the depression feeds off of. I want to deeply trust God that He is who He says He is. I should know both in my head and my heart that He is good having witnessed His amazing provision and love. There is also this seemingly inherent fear of being hurt alone, as well as some psychological and emotional wounds in need of deep tissue healing. All of that culminating with the financial stresses of going through school with hardly any of the money than is required.

Maybe it has something to do with my struggle to always see God as my Father. In a recent talk to the body of believers out here in Kona, Andy Byrd, an amazing man of God, gave a parallel of his relationship with His son. Asher is about 4 years old and is passionate about his love for his father. He never distrusts Andy’s ability to clothe, feed, and give good gifts to him. Andy is not God, but the reliance that Asher has on his daddy is the way I want to relate with my Heavenly Father. In fact, that is the way that faith is supposed to work. With my eyes fixed on God, the waves around me are insignificant next to the power that He has. And then there is the promise that God’s power, the power that raised Christ from the dead, is living inside of me. Why do I worry? Why do I strive for control over my life when the Perfect Father, the Creator and Sustainer of the universe is alive within me? The reality of Jesus and His life is the reality that I need to be living in, not this façade, this thin, filthy veneer that I see. It about looking beyond, looking to the reality that Christ brought – the Kingdom that He ushers in – the Kingdom that He placed within.

As I have mentioned in some of my posts, I love the thought of Love. The word has lost a lot of meaning in our time and can mean anything from a red glass window in Amsterdam paid for by the hour, to the subculture of the 70’s, to the ultimate sacrifice of Jesus Christ. The love I speak about is the unending love, the love that gives expecting nothing in return, the love that costs something, unselfish. This is the type of love that God has for the world, the type of love that I have seen the world in desperation for. What I haven’t realized or taken to heart was that the passionate, unrelenting, undistracted, devastating, and unconditional love that the world is burning for is the same love that God has for me; that He has for you. He is mesmerized by one glance from my eyes; His heart blazes at one trifling word of affection from our hearts to His. I have to know that love, I need to feel it not only for the world, but for myself. Oh, to wake up to the reality of the love of Christ – the destructive love of the relentless Lion and the tender embrace of the Lamb.

The program that I am enrolled in is expensive. It is even more expensive now that we are back in the States. The team of monthly supporters helps a great deal, but as it stands, I have no way of paying for the school fees as well as the bills that I have back home as well. I have this issue of pride with asking for others to come along-side me, joining me in accomplishing the goal and finishing the program, but after praying about what God wanted me to do, I felt that I should use the blog this week to do just that. It is a sacrifice of my pride, the idea that I should be providing for myself, and what I think the blog should be… but, in obedience, I have to.

I started PhotogenX last September and I intend to finish it. These next 6 months we will be working on a publication from our travels and experiences with injustice around the world. We want it to be a catalyst of change in the world. We are willing to be used, but we need help. I need help. My fees for the school are $4,000 just for this next 3 months and at the moment I don’t have it. I am trusting God for this provision believing that He can finish what He started. The waves of financial pressure are building all around me, but He knows exactly where I am and He is with me. If you would like to stand with me, there are many ways to do so; please let me know.

Thanks for reading about my journeys and experiences. I pray that you open yourself up to the Amazing Love and Grace that comes only through a loving relationship with Jesus Christ.

In Obedience to Him,

John Paul