Posts Tagged: faith

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25
Jan 10

I’m John Paul and I have a problem

*Written as a reflection response in my Practicum class.

During class, I actually asked myself what I was doing here. It’s a question that I ask semi-frequently because I get overwhelmed and worry about things. Usually, its fine and I can just take it one day at a time, one assignment at a time. This is different. It’s not really something that can be taken day by day. Sometimes the planning stages are the hardest because most of it is theoretical and idea-based, something that on paper looks a little odd even though it is filled with hopes and dreams. Converting these hopes and dreams into the reality that comprise the hopes and dreams is the difficult part; project that into the future and it becomes even more difficult.

I struggle with the details. I don’t think that my ideas aren’t valuable, but I lack discipline in seeing those ideas come to fruition. In true John Vicory form, I am already worrying that this may be the same. I worry that I will come up with an idea that I want to accomplish and it will go downhill from there. I won’t get the connections I need, I won’t formulate it into a thesis or ask the wrong questions, or something will fall apart mid-stride and ruin the rest… Or, it just might end up dull and ordinary instead of sparkly and amazing.

I knew where my sites were and I knew what I wanted to say as far as what I wanted to do there. But, when it comes to talking about it with people, especially in front of a group, I make it sound like I have simply thought about it a little bit, or it was still vague in my mind. I know exactly what Becker’s students are feeling because I have the same fears as they do. I am afraid to actually say something because I really don’t want to be wrong. I don’t want to be viewed as a failure or bear the brunt of people’s jokes. Not that I think people in our cohort would do that, but people “out there” in the world. I don’t want to set a goal that I can actually fail at reaching, so I set safe goals. I have done that for a while and have suffered for it. I want greatness, but afraid to do whatever it takes to get there.

I don’t want to live my life like that. When I think about it, I would rather take a stab at greatness and be brutalized in return than to look back and wish that I had taken the leap. I say that now. I hope that when it comes to this practicum and this thesis project that my daily steps would be to dream big and not let my fear get the best of me. Jeez, I feel like a need group therapy or something…

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14
Aug 08

The Battle Within

Conversation with some friends yielded the topic of striving – a word that isn’t used very much, but is loaded with connotations of insecurity, priorities, recognition, and success. Most of us have this intense desire, whether consciously or not, of being recognized. We thrive knowing that someone approves of us, so when we put our hands to work, we are flooded with anxiety, worry, and disappointment. Many Christians even get into ministry or different projects thinking that God may love us more if we do some amazing things for Him. The motivation of our heart moves from doing anything out of love for God and His creation to seeking approval from the people around us and even from God. This kind of mindset creates an invisible prison that prevents us from moving in the freedom of who we were created to be. When we fail, we either stop trying or attempt another goal for our redemption – feeding off of the disappointment that we have brought upon ourselves. We are immersed in this kind of behavior neglecting the true purpose that we are made to go after unhindered by expectations and limitations. We have this mindset that the end or what we have to show of our lives is the result… the end is the point. In reality, the path is where the beauty is found.

Masks have been created from my striving, projecting an image of myself that isn’t real or true. I have hardly anything together, yet I find myself making it look like I do. With my hands on this mask, I am unable to approach those around me with open hands and an open heart. The thing is – most people still have their hands on their masks as well. We all have these areas where we keep locked away afraid to show others who we really are, but it is better to keep in mind that we are all made of the same parts and experience similar circumstances. If I have learned on thing by spending over a year and a half overseas is that we are all human and deal with both suffering and joy it is what connects us all. Having this mindset helps in dealing with both the struggles and eases of life, especially when there are others around you saying, “I can see where you are and I am here for you.” It is not only refreshing, but it is the correct posture that we should have in relation to each other. It helps put an end to striving for the chartless end and enjoy the radiance of life – loving who we are – living the way we were meant to live.

Finding Peace, Joy, and Love in the journey is finding the treasure. I may not have everything together, but God does, and He is inviting me on this journey of discovery – learning, trying, failing, and recovering. It is a beautiful process. I want to encourage you to let go of your striving and open yourself up to enjoy God and enjoy those around you. Life is an amazing gift. We were created to live with and to live for each other. We don’t have to wait until we are good enough or sufficient enough… if we were to do so, we would never stop waiting.

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12
Jul 08

The Essence of Unseen

Sitting in front of an empty screen is consoling; the small blinking cursor in the sea of white reminds me of my current condition and the state of my emotions. After traveling for the last 10 months experiencing a myriad of situations, worldviews, and thought processes, my mind and spirit have been on a proverbial rollercoaster. It was a ride that I thoroughly enjoyed.

Upon arriving back in the US, my expectations were sent soaring. The Not Alone Benefit made some money for the Mercy Development Home in Ethiopia, I saw some friends and family members, and then all of the sudden I was on my way back to Kona to resume studies and work on the publication from our experiences. What I didn’t anticipate was the slight depression that landed on me almost simultaneously with my plane landing in Honolulu. Depression is something that I have struggled with in the past, almost as if whenever I look behind me it is as if a shadow is always a hundred feet behind…sometimes closer, sometimes further, and sometimes I don’t even look.

Over the last few days, I think that I have been able to identify areas in my life that the depression feeds off of. I want to deeply trust God that He is who He says He is. I should know both in my head and my heart that He is good having witnessed His amazing provision and love. There is also this seemingly inherent fear of being hurt alone, as well as some psychological and emotional wounds in need of deep tissue healing. All of that culminating with the financial stresses of going through school with hardly any of the money than is required.

Maybe it is my inability to see God as my Father. In a recent talk to the body of believers out here in Kona, Andy Byrd, an amazing man of God, gave a parallel of his relationship with His son. Asher is about 4 years old and is passionate about his love for his father. He never distrusts Andy’s ability to clothe, feed, and give good gifts to him. Andy is not God, but the reliance that Asher has on his daddy is the way I want to relate with my Heavenly Father. In fact, that is the way that faith is supposed to work. With my eyes fixed on God, the waves around me are insignificant next to the power that He has. And then there is the promise that God’s power, the power that raised Christ from the dead, is living inside of me. Why do I worry? Why do I strive for control over my life when the Perfect Father, the Creator and Sustainer of the universe is alive within me? The reality of Jesus and His life is the reality that I need to be living in, not this façade, this thin, filthy veneer that I see. It about looking beyond, looking to the reality that Christ brought – the Kingdom that He ushers in – the Kingdom that He placed within.

As I have mentioned in some of my posts, I love the thought of Love. The word has lost a lot of meaning in our time and can mean anything from a red glass window in Amsterdam paid for by the hour, to the subculture of the 70’s, to the ultimate sacrifice of Jesus Christ. The love I speak about is the unending love, the love that gives expecting nothing in return, the love that costs something, unselfish. This is the type of love that God has for the world, the type of love that I have seen the world in desperation for. What I haven’t realized or taken to heart was that the passionate, unrelenting, undistracted, devastating, and unconditional love that the world is burning for is the same love that God has for me; that He has for you. He is mesmerized by one glance from my eyes; His heart blazes at one trifling word of affection from our hearts to His. I have to know that love, I need to feel it not only for the world, but for myself. Oh, to wake up to the reality of the love of Christ – the destructive love of the relentless Lion and the tender embrace of the Lamb.

The program that I am enrolled in is expensive. It is even more expensive now that we are back in the States. The team of monthly supporters helps a great deal, but as it stands, I have no way of paying for the school fees as well as the bills that I have back home as well. I have this issue of pride with asking for others to come along-side me, joining me in accomplishing the goal and finishing the program, but after praying about what God wanted me to do, I felt that I should use the blog this week to do just that. It is a sacrifice of my pride, the idea that I should be providing for myself, and what I think the blog should be… but, in obedience, I have to.

I started PhotogenX last September and I intend to finish it. These next 6 months we will be working on a publication from our travels and experiences with injustice around the world. We want it to be a catalyst of change in the world. We are willing to be used, but we need help. I need help. My fees for the school are $4,000 just for this next 3 months and at the moment I don’t have it. I am trusting God for this provision believing that He can finish what He started. The waves of financial pressure are building all around me, but He knows exactly where I am and He is with me. If you would like to stand with me, there are many ways to do so; please let me know.

Thanks for reading about my journeys and experiences. I pray that you open yourself up to the Amazing Love and Grace that comes only through a loving relationship with Jesus Christ.

In Obedience to Him,

John Paul

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12
Jul 08

The Essence of Unseen

Sitting in front of an empty screen is consoling; the small blinking cursor in the sea of white reminds me of my current condition and the state of my emotions. After traveling for the last 10 months experiencing a myriad of situations, worldviews, and thought processes, my mind and spirit have been on a proverbial rollercoaster. It was a ride that I thoroughly enjoyed.

Upon arriving back in the US, my expectations were sent soaring. The Not Alone Benefit made some money for the Mercy Development Home in Ethiopia, I saw some friends and family members, and then all of the sudden I was on my way back to Kona to resume studies and work on the publication from our experiences. What I didn’t anticipate was the slight depression that landed on me almost simultaneously with my plane landing in Honolulu. Depression is something that I have struggled with in the past, almost as if whenever I look behind me it is as if a shadow is always a hundred feet behind…sometimes closer, sometimes further, and sometimes I don’t even look.

Over the last few days, I think that I have been able to identify areas in my life that the depression feeds off of. I want to deeply trust God that He is who He says He is. I should know both in my head and my heart that He is good having witnessed His amazing provision and love. There is also this seemingly inherent fear of being hurt alone, as well as some psychological and emotional wounds in need of deep tissue healing. All of that culminating with the financial stresses of going through school with hardly any of the money than is required.

Maybe it has something to do with my struggle to always see God as my Father. In a recent talk to the body of believers out here in Kona, Andy Byrd, an amazing man of God, gave a parallel of his relationship with His son. Asher is about 4 years old and is passionate about his love for his father. He never distrusts Andy’s ability to clothe, feed, and give good gifts to him. Andy is not God, but the reliance that Asher has on his daddy is the way I want to relate with my Heavenly Father. In fact, that is the way that faith is supposed to work. With my eyes fixed on God, the waves around me are insignificant next to the power that He has. And then there is the promise that God’s power, the power that raised Christ from the dead, is living inside of me. Why do I worry? Why do I strive for control over my life when the Perfect Father, the Creator and Sustainer of the universe is alive within me? The reality of Jesus and His life is the reality that I need to be living in, not this façade, this thin, filthy veneer that I see. It about looking beyond, looking to the reality that Christ brought – the Kingdom that He ushers in – the Kingdom that He placed within.

As I have mentioned in some of my posts, I love the thought of Love. The word has lost a lot of meaning in our time and can mean anything from a red glass window in Amsterdam paid for by the hour, to the subculture of the 70’s, to the ultimate sacrifice of Jesus Christ. The love I speak about is the unending love, the love that gives expecting nothing in return, the love that costs something, unselfish. This is the type of love that God has for the world, the type of love that I have seen the world in desperation for. What I haven’t realized or taken to heart was that the passionate, unrelenting, undistracted, devastating, and unconditional love that the world is burning for is the same love that God has for me; that He has for you. He is mesmerized by one glance from my eyes; His heart blazes at one trifling word of affection from our hearts to His. I have to know that love, I need to feel it not only for the world, but for myself. Oh, to wake up to the reality of the love of Christ – the destructive love of the relentless Lion and the tender embrace of the Lamb.


The program that I am enrolled in is expensive. It is even more expensive now that we are back in the States. The team of monthly supporters helps a great deal, but as it stands, I have no way of paying for the school fees as well as the bills that I have back home as well. I have this issue of pride with asking for others to come along-side me, joining me in accomplishing the goal and finishing the program, but after praying about what God wanted me to do, I felt that I should use the blog this week to do just that. It is a sacrifice of my pride, the idea that I should be providing for myself, and what I think the blog should be… but, in obedience, I have to.

I started PhotogenX last September and I intend to finish it. These next 6 months we will be working on a publication from our travels and experiences with injustice around the world. We want it to be a catalyst of change in the world. We are willing to be used, but we need help. I need help. My fees for the school are $4,000 just for this next 3 months and at the moment I don’t have it. I am trusting God for this provision believing that He can finish what He started. The waves of financial pressure are building all around me, but He knows exactly where I am and He is with me. If you would like to stand with me, there are many ways to do so; please let me know.

Thanks for reading about my journeys and experiences. I pray that you open yourself up to the Amazing Love and Grace that comes only through a loving relationship with Jesus Christ.

In Obedience to Him,

John Paul

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1
Jun 08

From the Desert to the Rainforest

I would like to begin with an update from St. Ameria’s in Uganda. John Bills, a close friend of mine was recently teaching and developing ideas with leaders in Uganda. He has been with me for part of the last year and had visited St. Ameria’s. They have never left his heart either so while he was there he made sure to stop by to see how everything was doing. We had both been working to see what we could do to provide them some much needed funding and encouragement for the well being of the children (starting, as you may remember, with the bunk beds to keep the children off of the floor). Even in the short year that has passed since I left Uganda, through the money that many of you have given, St. Ameria’s has been doing some substantial construction and have also ensured other immediate needs of the children like food, clothing, and medicine are being administered. They have almost completed with the boys dormitory, but need some more money to be able to do it. I am amazed at what God has done for those children in Uganda and honored that he would let me be a part of it. If you would like to get involved, even in flying out to Uganda to help in the construction, please let me know and I would be overjoyed to give you more information.




A team from Germany came to Spain to teach us about photography. We didn’t learn heaps about photography that week, but we had major breakthroughs as a family that the students have become. Amsterdam was a difficult time for most of us, not only as a team, but on individual levels as well. We were disconnected, distraught, and visionless. In a way, we had forgotten why God had called us to do this program in the first place and, in our relation with each other, weren’t walking in love. Spain and the team from Germany provided a sort of intervention, keeping us all in the same room sharing what we were struggling with in relation to the team, ourselves, and with God. It was such a fruitful time that reignited our passion to receive and give the Father’s love freely.

[A mountain that Tim and I climbed overlooking Torremolinos]

[The lower part]


We had a week to travel around Southern Spain and North Africa as well, so the next week Aaron, Anna, and I separated from the rest of the group, who took up their own travels, and headed to Morocco. I don’t know if I have been in a more beautiful nation. Morocco has so much from cold temperature to the searing hot deserts; Atlas mountains to Mediterranean and Atlantic Coastlines. We spent the week traveling all over the country and grew to know and appreciate each other more. We shared frustrating moments and as well as those of sheer beauty and delight. We met some amazing people while traveling and at our temporary destinations. Too much happened to record it all, so be sure to check out (and comment on) Anna’s Blog which contains a daily video diary from the trip. (Anna’s Blog) Hopefully the pictures and captions will give an idea about the trip as well, maybe even better than words can in this instance.

[A hillside in Tanger, Morocco]
[Marrakesh is a city known for its craziness. It has one of the biggest markets in North Africa and competes with Addis Ababa for Africa's largest. Even on the first day, I needed to get away from it, so Scott and I headed into the back alleys away from everything else and found a small group of boys playing soccer. We spent a few minutes with them before heading back to the hostel.]

[Morocco is known for a traditional dish called Tajin. You can find it everywhere along with the spices that are included. There is so much color in Morocco, more than I ever expected.]

[Anna and Aaron on the Atlas mountain pass. Our guide, Housine, asked us to count the number of turns on the way up. We didn't, but he kept asking. When we got to the top, he wouldn't tell us how many until we gave him good guesses, but after we did he revealed that there were only 2; right and left. Clever, Housine... very clever.]

[When we were told that we would be driving through the Atlas Mountains to get to the desert, I wasn't expecting red earth, snow covered peaks, and windblown wheat fields filling the valleys. Anna and Aaron both said that it reminded them of Nepal. It just reminded me of something beautiful since I had never seen anything like it (besides maybe the Alberta Canada coat of arms).]

[Housine says that the Berber people only live in the mountains. Its possible that they came from the Mountains, but they live all over Morocco. They make up about 60% of the population if you are interested in figures. They are a warm people, a point that I will explain in another caption.]

[After driving through some diverse and amazing landscapes and biomes, we arrived at the end of the road, literally. Housine lives in a small desert town called M'Hamed and it is where the pavement ends as far as roads go. We stayed on the edge of the Sahara in Bedouin type tents at a campsite. Unlike many other of the tourist programs, it was just Aaron, Anna and I at the camp with Housine and his friends and family.]



[Housine and his family come from the tribal Tauregs that once traversed the Sahara. They are also known as Nomads or the Blue Men because of their bright blue jalebahs (long shirts). Because of the Nation-States that have invaded the African continent in the lat 200 years, whole tribes have been cut off from each other, especially with countries with closed borders like Algeria, a mere 38 kilometers from the town of M'Hamed. The once itinerant Blue Men are mostly settled down now, but the freedom of wandering is evident in the infrastructure of their towns and the remains of vacated Kasbahs (old towns with refuges) that dot the desert countryside. Who knows how long Housine's family will stay in M'Hamed?]

[After visiting the old M'Hamed Kasbah, we headed via Landrover to the Chicaga Dunes. It is one of the largest dune systems in Morocco and boasts the highest dune of 300 meters (or 990 ft). The desert is one of my favorite ecosystems and for some odd reason, I find refreshment for my spirit there.]

[A few tourists taking a rest on one of the lower dunes. We were surprised that there weren't many tourists and the dunes were relatively untouched, which was amazing for pictures.]

[Anna making the long trek to the top of the highest sand-dune. There is this innate desire to see the highest point around and climb it. We gave in to this aspiration and reached the summit with a few minutes of sunrise left.]

[Aaron and Anna at the top. We hauled Anna's MacBook to the top in order to record one of our daily video journals which can be viewed HERE on Anna's Blog. We watched the sun drop beneath the horizon and praised our Maker for His amazing creation. Soon after, we headed back to the camp and fell asleep early (before the Blue Men were finished with their rhythmic songs) so we could get up for sunrise.]

There were no thoughts of sadness, worry, or disappointment as my feet almost flew down the sand dunes in the Saharan section of Morocco. I was carefree (besides feeling that I might end up toppling end over end down the rest of the dune) experiencing excitement, joy and freedom. There are moments like this in all of our lives, some brief others long-lasting, that force us to forget about our issues no matter how big or small. In reflecting on the seemingly insignificant instance, I realized that many people as they get older don’t take the time or even feel like they can have moments they can let themselves go with childish enthusiasm to experience innocent joy and exuberance. Look for your sand dune.

[Our camp at the Chicaga dunes was surprisingly cozy despite the fine layer of dust that covered everything (including our camera equipment). The sun rewarded our early morning efforts with spectacular views of the dunes and the textures of the sand. After breakfast we piled back in the Landrover and started the long journey back to Marrakesh, 12 hours away.]

[Along the way, we stopped in a Berber village high in the Atlas mountains. We had yet to experience hospitality in the way they showed it to us. We were invited to a terrace overlooking wheat fields and mountain dwellings where we enjoyed mint tea and broken conversations. We were invited to spend a few nights up in the village, but wouldn't have had a way to get back to Marrakesh had we done so. We all want to visit Morocco again and spend much more time in the Atlas with the Berbers.]


[It is extremely difficult to get photos of women, especially in the Muslim world. Equally difficult is getting to know them and their stories. Outside of the craziness of the Marrakesh Medina, we wandered in a small community of craftsman and porters. There were no Westerners walking the streets so it was much easier to relate with the people on a personal level. Anna had been praying that she would be able to get connected with a local woman and possibly even get portraits of her. God presented the opportunity and we spent close to an hour and a half getting to know the Berber family who had come to Marrakesh. We were so blown away by their hospitality and warmth. We would all love to go back and visit them someday as well.]

[Morocco is quite famous for its leather. The largest tannery is located in Fez, but there are also quite a few large tanneries in Marrakesh as well. It is popular for tourists to go and thus popular to be led to specific tanneries by a myriad of different people, including children and inebriated men. We finally made our own way through an open door into a tannery deserted by tourists. We walked around and took some pictures before heading back to our hostel. The man on the bottom is Abdallah Azziz who showed me the whole process of tanning leathers, a process that has become his life-long profession.]

[Some of the Arab influenced architecture in Marrakesh]
[The closest coastal town to Marrakesh is Essaouira (I am still terrible at the pronunciation). Translated, the name means "windy city" and it is very windy. It is also dominated by the tourism industry. There is also a history and tradition of catching fish in the Atlantic, so a generous fishing industry also brings in revenue for the coastal community.]

[A man sits at the gate of the Essaouira medina in the traditional dress of many Moroccans, a hooded jalebah.

[One of the strays that Aaron and Anna (and I) fell in love with]

[Another of Essaouira's medina gates.]

[Aaron standing in front of a colorful backdrop composed of rugs and blankets]

[The medina walls of Essaouira]

We are in Costa Rica and Latin America for the next few weeks finalizing the phase of the track in which we travel around the world. It’s hard to believe that it has been almost 9 months already. Pray for us as we finish here, take a quick break at home, and then meet back in Kona. I will be sure to have another blog update before then.

In His Love,

John Paul Vicory

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21
Nov 07

"Mars Hill really Rocked…" Last update from Greece!


[One of the most amazing sunsets ever, Porto Rafti, Greece]

Thank you, Dan Shannon, one of our speakers this week, for that lovely quote. As part of our teaching this week, the entire class and our speakers took a trip to Athens to spend the day around the Acropolis area, including the Areopagus (Mars Hill). A couple of us had spent some time there before, but one of our speakers, David Hamilton, gave some stellar background information on the area and the lifestyle of Athens at that time.

[First Olympic Stadium, Athens, Greece]

It was the center of the world for the arts, education, and contemporary thought. The philosophers could gather around the monumental temples in the center of the city and toss around ideas of democracy, science, and life. We read Acts 17 where Paul walks in to the center of town and makes his voice and the Gospel that it carries known. They called him an idiot and threatened him with his life (Socrates had been put to death for introducing foreign gods). Even in the face of them, he spoke to them with the authority of the Holy Spirit. It was the first time the Gospel had been shared there, and he was all by himself

[Acropolis Panorama at Night, Athens, Greece]

To gaze on these amazing buildings and to have insight into their structure and intricacies, there is no wonder that people worshiped those whom the buildings were built for. At one time in the Parthenon (the largest, most prominent temple to the goddess Athena Parthenon), there was a giant statue made of pure gold, diamonds, pearls and other precious jewels. These people held their gods in such high esteem, but why? In polytheistic cultures, people live in fear of the gods. They fashion their lives around pleasing them and bribing them with elaborate sacrifices and practices. When bad things happen, a god is mad at them so further action needs to be taken. The gods were always trying to do bad to them. As David Hamilton so eloquently put it, “Religion was a minimizing of fear not an establishment of hope.” So Paul waltzes in and challenges them by saying that there is an Unknown God, and that is a God that cares deeply about them; enough to send his Son to them to be the last sacrifice. This was revolutionary for them, a God that cared? A God of Grace?

Now, there are many lessons that I took away from not only from the teaching, but my time walking around the Acropolis.

The first is that the idolatry of the Greek culture was immensely beautiful. These buildings brought out emotion and awe, and who they stood for brought awe as well. They were still false gods, but they were, and still are attractive. Even now, there are so many things that are attractive to us, pulling us, but aren’t things of God. We start to worship materialism and set up mere humans in the places of importance in our lives. That’s just the tip of the iceberg with all of the things we place in the high places of our lives… But, just as with the buildings in the Acropolis, the things of this world will come to ruin. No matter how fast we work, or how much we maintain, they will always be temporal, no matter how great the appear. We can use the illustration for idolatry and sin in our lives; it might look great for a time, but in the end, it all turns to dust.

The philosophers must have looked at Paul like he was crazy; pointing to the vast buildings just beside them as testimony of their god’s greatness. But the God that Paul shared with them on that day in Athens is the same God that is alive and well today, dwelling in the lives of his people. He truly does last forever and it has been proven time and time again throughout the history of the world. When our hearts and lives aren’t built on the foundation of Jesus Christ, they will crumble to dust.

The second lesson was just as valuable. Like I said before, the people lived in constant fear because there was no way to please the multitude of manic, compulsory, selfish, immoral, and illusory gods. Paul submits to them that there is a God who actually cares for them and will extend perfect grace to them, not by a manner of bribery, but acceptance and revelation. So many times, even as Christians, we come with this thought of God like the Greek pagans did… If I do this for you, God, will you be satisfied; can I go to heaven? We have this mental block that he doesn’t really want the best for us; that our plans are more effective than his; that our comfort is of utmost importance. We believe the lies of the enemy that God is angry with us and will never accept us with our imperfections…

Well, I felt like this is what God was telling me earlier this week, even before going to Athens…

Then the angel showed me myself standing before the angel of the Lord. The Accuser, Satan, was there at the angel’s right hand, making accusations against me. And the Lord said to Satan, “I, the Lord, reject your accusations, Satan. Yes, the Lord, who has chosen him, rebukes you. This man is like a burning stick that has been snatched from the fire.”

My clothing was filthy as I stood there before the angel. So the angel said to the others standing there, “Take off his filthy clothes.” And turning to me said, “See, I have taken your sins, and now I am giving you these fine new clothes.” [Zechariah 3:1-4]

God is not far off, distant, and angry. He desires to take us as we stand before Him, filthy and unrefined. He cannot wait to extend his grace to us, but it does cost us something. We have to tear down the idols that we have and embrace him as the only Lord of our lives.

Last year around this time in my DTS lecture phase, I finally was able to co
me to this point. I realized that I had built my life on idols and didn’t know God. Those idols came crashing down and I found myself standing before God, afraid, but as my only hope. My clothes were black with sin, charred and filled with the smell of smoke. Satan stood there bringing accusations of all kinds which I had believed for so long. The Creator of the universe silenced him by extending his grace to me and I found myself renewed and clean; now standing before my Father.

If this is similar to your story, I would love to talk about it further. Like I said and my life testifies, God wants us to be in communion with him as His children. And, I want to challenge you all to examine your own lives and see if there are things that, although they may seem beautiful, you have built to unworthy places in you life. We can see from the story of the Greek gods, that they won’t stand a chance.

[Pillars in the Agora (Ancient Marketplace), Athens]

That’s it for now, until Turkey, may the Lord bless you and keep you

In Him

John Paul


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7
Oct 07

The Eternal Muse

Christianity is something that I don’t understand. I am not sure I even grasp the concept of God (in the Trinitarian sense, or His character), grace, love, faith, and belief in general.

A friend brought an interesting concept to me recently that I haven’t been able to get out of my head. It keeps me up at night, and has led to more questions that keep on coming. The question related to the scope of humanity and if it was possible that God has more grace than what we realize; saving those who have never heard of Jesus Christ therefore, not believing in him. When I read the token salvation scripture, John 3:16-17, I see that God sent his son to save the world, not to judge it; that believing in him, we can enter the Kingdom of God and have eternal life. This I believe, then Nicodemus asks Jesus how to enter the Kingdom, and Jesus says that he needs to be born again. Just a few pages later, Jesus tells the rich, young ruler that he must sell everything he has in order to obtain the Kingdom. Jesus even says that He is the only way to the Father. But, Abraham’s obedience to the Lord was credited to him as righteousness, which makes me believe that salvation is possible through obedience to the Lord. That maybe belief in Christ is the belief in the Messianic message; modeling our lives after his.

What if people have never, and will never hear about Jesus, or even God? Will they have a chance to ever enter the kingdom? I almost feel guilty about being born at the space and time in which I was, knowing that there is a possibility that so many will(have) die(d) never accepting Christ spending the subsequent eternity in hell.

Like the rest of Humanity, I don’t deserve eternal life because of sin, but why am I so privileged, while the majority of the people in existence will have never believed. I struggle so much with it because it doesn’t really sound like justice to me to let so many people die. It’s like the gift is free, but not an option which is open to everyone. This frightens me. It frightens me because it makes me question whether I believe his love is really unfailing. I am not talking here about the people that openly reject Christ, but those who have never heard about him. Is it just by chance that they will not enter the kingdom? What if someone were to tell them, would they believe then? I would like to think that if all the people who have never heard the message of Jesus were to hear his message at least some of them would accept him as their Savior and enter into a relationship with Him. What about those people who never hear about Jesus, but seek something outside of themselves? Luke 11 promises that those who seek will find. Do we always know what we are seeking? Will He credit that to them as righteousness? I don’t know. Will he judge them by a different standard than he does those who have actually heard about him? Maybe? SALVATION BELONGS TO HIM ALONE

I don’t know the answers. I know that His ways are so much higher than my ways, and that my finite, sinful, and unjust mind doesn’t hold a candle to the Mind of the Creator. I have this feeling that I will never know the answers, but where does that leave me? What will I use my life for now? If salvation is possible for all people where they are, what is my role in sharing the love and message of Christ? Doesn’t that make it a bit futile? I can’t bring myself to believe that. So, if that is my mission, then deep down I believe that if the people of the world never have the chance to hear about Jesus, they will go to hell. Ouch.

Then, if that is true, there is something seriously wrong with our priorities. Not only are we as the Bride of Christ responsible for all those in the world today that don’t know Christ, we are responsible for all of the people since Christ that lived and died and never heard about him. Doesn’t that do something to you? It does something to me. It blows my mind. It fires me up to tell as many people as I meet about Jesus. It makes me want to give every breath I have for that end. Am I wasting my time? No. I probably will end up wasting a lot of it, but I would hope that the Holy Spirit can use me to influence those around me, by Him living and speaking through me. Diving into the word (discovering His message), then diving into the world. To be a true servant; to hold nothing back. It really puts things in perspective for me. Are we using every breath of our lives to the extent that we could? The challenge is to everyone, and so is the call.

I think that the reason I have been struggling so much with these questions is that I need to understand the call is to me as well. What will I use my breath for? What will use yours for?

There are an estimated 2.62 Billion Unreached people in the world; 40% of the 6.56 Billion living in the world Today. (The Joshua Project / joshuaproject.net)

Let me know what you are thinking… I would like that.

Love in Christ
John Paul

Uncategorized — 3 Comments
19
Aug 07

Recent Thoughts…

[Journal Entry: 8-18-07]

Is my goal really to change the world? To do that would be a task monumental and impossible. To change the world would be to change humanity, sin nature, and the very things that make up this flesh.

Rather, I would like to make an impact on the world, not by adding to it anything, but by taking away from it; adding to the Kingdom of Heaven. Living as Christ has modeled for me, moving in the Spirit that quickens my heart to action. It will challenge everything I think I know about God, Jesus, culture, His image, politics, religious theology, service, obedience, the Word (Bible), and the Spirit.

To open God’s word; the Kingdom Book and read it finally with open eyes and an open mind… No longer being impressed and molded to the world around me, but being sculpted to His way; being first and foremost, a citizen of the Kingdom of Heaven; Kingdom obsessed.

It is time to take action. I don’t want to wait! I want to run in the freedom that Christ brought on the cross. I want to live the way he intends and bask in the fulfillment that action brings. I want my allegiance to be to my King alone, moving in His spirit, walking in his ways.

I have heard it said that God is doing something new in this time; but I know that my God is the same through eternity. He has been doing this all along. It is me giving up control of my life to see him for who he truly is and my life as it should truly be.

Are you ready?

Matthew 28:18-19
Christ tells us…
“I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth…
There fore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Fother and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all of the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

In Him,
John Paul Vicory