The sermon can be found online here : http://www.nsb.org/sermons/a-classic-christmas

Anyway, he asked me to put something together for the service, kind of like a voice from within Northshore (the church i go to). So, I asked Devin to help. We shot it all on a Nikon D300s, 50mm f/1.4 with a RØDE microphone with video lights in front of a huge seamless backdrop.

The song is Needles and Thread by Sleeping at Last.

After it was all over we started to be pals again. As we drove through the desert I started thinking about how foolishly I act without even knowing it. I am ready to go a certain way and do a certain thing without any regards for the danger around me. I am in such a rush with a single track mind, just wanting to get to my seat, to my life, to my purpose… to my future. I am spun around so quick with an, “I told you to wait!!” from my Father. I get noticeably upset, unable to comprehend the danger I would have stepped into.

After my tears dry He speaks again, “I get after you because I love you and I want the best for you.” I smile at him and know that He’s right. “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

Masks have been created from my striving, projecting an image of myself that isn’t real or true. I have hardly anything together, yet I find myself making it look like I do. With my hands on this mask, I am unable to approach those around me with open hands and an open heart. The thing is – most people still have their hands on their masks as well. We all have these areas where we keep locked away afraid to show others who we really are, but it is better to keep in mind that we are all made of the same parts and experience similar circumstances. If I have learned on thing by spending over a year and a half overseas is that we are all human and deal with both suffering and joy it is what connects us all. Having this mindset helps in dealing with both the struggles and eases of life, especially when there are others around you saying, “I can see where you are and I am here for you.” It is not only refreshing, but it is the correct posture that we should have in relation to each other. It helps put an end to striving for the chartless end and enjoy the radiance of life – loving who we are – living the way we were meant to live.

Finding Peace, Joy, and Love in the journey is finding the treasure. I may not have everything together, but God does, and He is inviting me on this journey of discovery – learning, trying, failing, and recovering. It is a beautiful process. I want to encourage you to let go of your striving and open yourself up to enjoy God and enjoy those around you. Life is an amazing gift. We were created to live with and to live for each other. We don’t have to wait until we are good enough or sufficient enough… if we were to do so, we would never stop waiting.

My mother tells me that when I was young, I would constantly ask her, “Is that true, mom?” to no end. I have this deep desire to know that something is real, tangible, and trustworthy. But as happens so much in everyone’s lives, we experience something that takes away our childlike innocence and grows us up to some of the realities of the world, betrayal, unfaithfulness, and injustice. The same is true in my life. Sometimes the people unknowingly and unwillingly do so to us, but we are betrayed just the same. Often times we feel as if it were God Himself bringing his judgment against us.

There were a few instances in my life that particularly stand out to me. I was in high school, a young freshman punky looking kid with little direction and at the verge of going “off the edge” in terms of rebellion. There was this girl, who had a smile that would attract the attention of the entire room as if no one had known that they were existing in darkness before she walked in. Over the next three years, we got to know each other. She was the first person that I loved. She was an amazing person, full of the joy of the Lord eager to follow Him with everything she had. I wasn’t an amazing person, nor did I have the joy of the Lord, and really didn’t know Him much at all besides this light He had placed in my path… But I messed everything up and I knew it. I was the one who betrayed, who was blind, who was corrupt. For a long time, I tried to save myself in her eyes, persistently apologizing. The summer in between my two years at military school in Missouri, we sat down in our usual spot in McDonald’s under the poster of Terrell Davis, where we had spend so many afternoons over the years. She told me she would write… She left on a mission’s trip to Mexico where the Lord took her home to be with Him.

A long while later, I was attending university at Westmont; she was a sophomore at the same college. We met through a friend, started dating, and fell in love. Over the next three years, I studied hard, graduating a year early so that we could go through with our plans to get married. I asked her to marry me and we were set for a full exciting life… or so we thought. Not long after graduation, the engagement and our relationship were off. I was heartbroken, feeling betrayed not only by her, but by this far off and distant God who said that He cares about people. I questioned who I was, what on earth I was doing, and why me… Out of desperation, I applied to DTS where I encountered the personal Father and Jesus Christ for the first time.

Since then, from reading the Bible, I would pick up on verses that told me to go into the world, love each other, bind up the brokenhearted. There was something romantic about the idea of traveling, being a champion for the poor and needy, showing them that there is a God who loves them. I had skipped the part that Jesus made so perfectly clear… “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength” (Matthew 22:37). Since I had the dream that I explained in the last blog update, I haven’t felt right. There has been something missing. Over the last week, God has been showing me that there has been so much that I have missed. The past relationships with people close to me have shaped me into someone who doesn’t trust. I project what happened in those relationships onto the people around me as well as onto God. I know in my head that He is perfect, worthy of trust, but my life, doubt, worry, and actions show that my heart is holding back from giving Him everything. His love is better than life itself, He proved in with the death of His Son, Jesus Christ, but here I am striving for His love as if it wasn’t a free gift. I think that what I have been doing for the last two years had aspects of love, but they were also a plead to God that He shouldn’t ever leave me, that perhaps He needed to keep me around for something. How wrong I was. Love is being still and letting the love of Christ empty everything that I am out, the doubt, guilt, disbelief, and worry in order to fully accept His unconditional, life-changing, freedom releasing love to me. I am only realizing that I will never be good enough to deserve His love. But He gives it to me anyway. That is Grace and when we get it, we have no other options but falling to our knees in absolute nothingness before the Perfect Creator, the Author of Salvation, the Name above all other names.

How can I love God? How can I give Him trust? How can I be emptied of selfishness and striving? I can’t. I am absolutely incapable of changing my situation. All I can do is want more of Him. He is the one that can replace this incapable heart and replace it with one able to trust Him able to rest in His perfect, everlasting love. We are all broken. We all need a transformation that supersedes anything we could ever go for ourselves.

I have preached so much about love – yet I was deceived about the best part of it, Grace. I can’t move in love until I know God’s love for me. The response from His love is to love Him – above everything else, bringing nothing to Him, receiving His Grace. His love for me and mine for Him then flows out of me uncontrollably. We crave for others to feel that kind of unconditional, absolutely incomprehensible and mysterious love.

His love is that whisper amidst the whirlwinds and earthquakes of our lives. Love from the Perfect Father is known by being still – listening to His gentle voice that shatters worry and melts fear. He knows me, knows my insufficiencies and sins, but He loves me just the same and is waiting to give up everything, all of my pride, brokenness, and striving, in order to create in me a new heart.

I had a vision of that wonderful day, when I would meet Jesus, God’s tangible love, face to face. I pictures standing in front of Him – when our eyes met for the first time and pierced my soul. The guilt of everything I had ever done piled on my heart in an instant. I couldn’t stand in His perfection. I felt as though I had died, completely ashamed in front of the One who died for my sins. Almost instantly He was lifting me up, taking all of my bur
dens once and for all in the greatest act of forgiveness that the world will ever know. He was inviting me to live with Him forever, in the place that He had been preparing. The place where every tear would be wiped away, every fear released; a place where I could never get away from the unhindered love and presence of God.
What a glorious day that will be.

In constant need for more of Him,
Jp

Thank you, Dan Shannon, one of our speakers this week, for that lovely quote. As part of our teaching this week, the entire class and our speakers took a trip to Athens to spend the day around the Acropolis area, including the Areopagus (Mars Hill). A couple of us had spent some time there before, but one of our speakers, David Hamilton, gave some stellar background information on the area and the lifestyle of Athens at that time.

[First Olympic Stadium, Athens, Greece]

It was the center of the world for the arts, education, and contemporary thought. The philosophers could gather around the monumental temples in the center of the city and toss around ideas of democracy, science, and life. We read Acts 17 where Paul walks in to the center of town and makes his voice and the Gospel that it carries known. They called him an idiot and threatened him with his life (Socrates had been put to death for introducing foreign gods). Even in the face of them, he spoke to them with the authority of the Holy Spirit. It was the first time the Gospel had been shared there, and he was all by himself

[Acropolis Panorama at Night, Athens, Greece]

To gaze on these amazing buildings and to have insight into their structure and intricacies, there is no wonder that people worshiped those whom the buildings were built for. At one time in the Parthenon (the largest, most prominent temple to the goddess Athena Parthenon), there was a giant statue made of pure gold, diamonds, pearls and other precious jewels. These people held their gods in such high esteem, but why? In polytheistic cultures, people live in fear of the gods. They fashion their lives around pleasing them and bribing them with elaborate sacrifices and practices. When bad things happen, a god is mad at them so further action needs to be taken. The gods were always trying to do bad to them. As David Hamilton so eloquently put it, “Religion was a minimizing of fear not an establishment of hope.” So Paul waltzes in and challenges them by saying that there is an Unknown God, and that is a God that cares deeply about them; enough to send his Son to them to be the last sacrifice. This was revolutionary for them, a God that cared? A God of Grace?

Now, there are many lessons that I took away from not only from the teaching, but my time walking around the Acropolis.

The first is that the idolatry of the Greek culture was immensely beautiful. These buildings brought out emotion and awe, and who they stood for brought awe as well. They were still false gods, but they were, and still are attractive. Even now, there are so many things that are attractive to us, pulling us, but aren’t things of God. We start to worship materialism and set up mere humans in the places of importance in our lives. That’s just the tip of the iceberg with all of the things we place in the high places of our lives… But, just as with the buildings in the Acropolis, the things of this world will come to ruin. No matter how fast we work, or how much we maintain, they will always be temporal, no matter how great the appear. We can use the illustration for idolatry and sin in our lives; it might look great for a time, but in the end, it all turns to dust.

The philosophers must have looked at Paul like he was crazy; pointing to the vast buildings just beside them as testimony of their god’s greatness. But the God that Paul shared with them on that day in Athens is the same God that is alive and well today, dwelling in the lives of his people. He truly does last forever and it has been proven time and time again throughout the history of the world. When our hearts and lives aren’t built on the foundation of Jesus Christ, they will crumble to dust.

The second lesson was just as valuable. Like I said before, the people lived in constant fear because there was no way to please the multitude of manic, compulsory, selfish, immoral, and illusory gods. Paul submits to them that there is a God who actually cares for them and will extend perfect grace to them, not by a manner of bribery, but acceptance and revelation. So many times, even as Christians, we come with this thought of God like the Greek pagans did… If I do this for you, God, will you be satisfied; can I go to heaven? We have this mental block that he doesn’t really want the best for us; that our plans are more effective than his; that our comfort is of utmost importance. We believe the lies of the enemy that God is angry with us and will never accept us with our imperfections…

Well, I felt like this is what God was telling me earlier this week, even before going to Athens…

Then the angel showed me myself standing before the angel of the Lord. The Accuser, Satan, was there at the angel’s right hand, making accusations against me. And the Lord said to Satan, “I, the Lord, reject your accusations, Satan. Yes, the Lord, who has chosen him, rebukes you. This man is like a burning stick that has been snatched from the fire.”

My clothing was filthy as I stood there before the angel. So the angel said to the others standing there, “Take off his filthy clothes.” And turning to me said, “See, I have taken your sins, and now I am giving you these fine new clothes.” [Zechariah 3:1-4]

God is not far off, distant, and angry. He desires to take us as we stand before Him, filthy and unrefined. He cannot wait to extend his grace to us, but it does cost us something. We have to tear down the idols that we have and embrace him as the only Lord of our lives.

Last year around this time in my DTS lecture phase, I finally was able to co
me to this point. I realized that I had built my life on idols and didn’t know God. Those idols came crashing down and I found myself standing before God, afraid, but as my only hope. My clothes were black with sin, charred and filled with the smell of smoke. Satan stood there bringing accusations of all kinds which I had believed for so long. The Creator of the universe silenced him by extending his grace to me and I found myself renewed and clean; now standing before my Father.

If this is similar to your story, I would love to talk about it further. Like I said and my life testifies, God wants us to be in communion with him as His children. And, I want to challenge you all to examine your own lives and see if there are things that, although they may seem beautiful, you have built to unworthy places in you life. We can see from the story of the Greek gods, that they won’t stand a chance.

That’s it for now, until Turkey, may the Lord bless you and keep you

In Him

John Paul

Its hard to believe that less than a month ago I was touching down in Capetown, South Africa. Whats even harder to believe is that at 7:00 this morning, I will be taking off for Athens, Greece.

So much has been experienced here; Photography classes, new living circumstances, Township experiences, and even beach life. Looking back, time has flown. I look forward to what is coming next and even the future beyond that, Lord willing.

Wow. I just realized that this will be an extremely short blog update, but I guess that will happen occasionally.

Internet in Greece won’t be as available, but that makes updating more exciting for me. We will be in the town of Porto Rafti right outside of Athens. We have been blessed by being beside the ocean (I am not quite sure how close yet) so that should make for some great landscape shots.

I have mixed feelings leaving Muizenburg. The time here has been amazing. I had tears in my eyes a few days ago when i had to say good-bye to Michael, Anda, and Eric as they dropped me off here for the last time. My life was changed by them and the experience that I was able to have in Guguletu. Experiences that I will never forget and fondly remember. I have been in contact with Justin of “These Numbers Have Faces” and he is thrilled about what is happening here. I am excited that we will be able to provided him with some pictures and stories on what is happening this side. To read more about “These Numbers Have Faces” visit their website by clicking on the link on the right hand column.

Some of you have been asking about donation information. I included a link in the right-hand side that will be beneficial. Thank you so much.

Until Greece, my God guide your steps…
John Paul Vicory

For now. I am tired. Honestly, I am tired of doing the show. I know thats not necessarily the right attitude, but let me explain. Somewhere along the way, I can’t really remember where it was, I stopped relying on God to be my strength and His provision for the show. I lost sight of His ownership and His goals and dreams for it. It was His vision that he shared with me all the way back in Uganda. I was selfish and proud of the Tour and it led to a burn-out from it. It is too big for me to think that I have any kind of control over it, yet I tried to take it anyway.

So, that is what I have been dealing with lately, and I share it with you for more than one purpose. The first is to share my struggles with you because I know that there is so much that I need to learn in this walk. I haven’t arrived at the proverbial “there”, or have all of the answers for how to live. I still have to learn daily to put my flesh to death and walk through the power of the Spirit within me. Sometimes its harder than others. Instead of hiding it, like everything is okay, I thought that I would experiment to see what happens when my struggles are exposed.
Since there is some identification of what is happening in my heart, I can (and am trying to) take steps to correct it, to get a sense of God’s passion for those He loves (which is everyone!), to realign my life with His will and word, and to get insight and guidance from those around me.

The other reason that I share is because I am not sure I am alone in my control issue. I may be wrong, but I think that it is part of who we are as humans to desire to be in control of our lives and the world around us. Its one of those things that we say we don’t want to be a part of, but if we take a closer look at our lives, we do see that we cling to control. I have done it my whole life and I don’t want to do it anymore. I want to be used by God as an instrument for His will, despite myself. It kind of goes along with the cliche saying that I am my own worst enemy. I am the one that stands in the way of being completely open for God to use… It all comes down to surrender, and when you give your life to Christ, surrender is mandatory.

What kinds of things are you holding on and not giving over to Him? It makes sense to give it to Him because He is the one that cares (1 Peter 5:7). And, after all… He is only the creator and sustainer of the universe… (written with sarcastic undertones)

So thats not really the direction that I saw this entry taking, but thats the way it goes sometimes.
Love and Blessings from Him!
John Paul