I am getting married in 2 weeks and I couldn’t be more ready/excited. I am excited for the wedding day, but I am excited for what comes next. I am excited to spend every day with Laura. Excited to share our lives in love together. I never expected that I would be with someone so perfect for me. In my head, I always figured I would have to settle in one way or another, but I am not. I am blessed beyond belief.
It’s difficult to know where to begin to describe my time in Ethiopia. I arrived from Uganda in good spirits, until I found out that I didn’t have a ride from the airport to anywhere. I hung around for a couple hours, then decided to try and find my way to the YWAM Mercy Development Center further in the city. It was my first time visiting Addis Ababa in the rainy season and the weather couldn’t have been more different that my previous 2 visits to the beautiful country. Mud and water were everywhere and it was cold.
When I first saw the children over three years ago, they had been just that – children, but seeing them now, three years later, so many of them are grown up. They are getting to be, or are already, adults. The scene was difficult to take in, but I am thankful that they have grown up so well and are dreaming big as far as what they want to do with their lives. The second day I was in Addis, I started taking pictures of the children for the sponsorship packets. We set up a photoshoot in the common room which has a blank white wall, much like the seamless that we have at Northwest. They boys all wanted to wear their best clothes and act famous in front of the camera. We had a great time.
A few days later, I left for Soddo. A friend of mine from Westmont, and a former roommate in Seattle, Sam lives there with another friend Noah and Katie. Together, they help facilitate an orphan care center than is part of a larger care organization in Ethiopia. They have been living there for the better part of a year and have a few months to go. The plan was to get media content for the CC Ethiopia website. On the way to Soddo, however, I started feeling very cold and feverish. The 6 hour ride down there with my 30lb camera bag wasn’t necessarily helping much and when I arrived in Soddo, I already needed a rest. Sam and I were able to catch up and talk about the orphan care center. We talked about the problems in Ethiopia and how they add to the orphan situation. We talked about Ethiopia as a whole, orphan care, and what really works. I went to bed feeling a little better, but didn’t end up falling asleep for a while. I had felt the fever returning and couldn’t get comfortable. The next day we had made plans for going to another town even further south called Arbaminch. We had hoped to do some relaxing and wildlife viewing in the national park near Arbaminch. We had to wait until the next day, but in the meantime, I had been feeling the fever return. Sam, Noah, and Katie, as well as another staff member at the orphan care center, went to Arbaminch to eat and hang out in the city, while I took to resting. It ended up being one of the worst, most painful nights I can remember. The fever had risen causing my whole body to throb, my head to pound, and my skin to feel needle pricks with every movement. Nothing I could do could alleviate the pain. I thought to myself that hell must be a searingly hot pain like this that lasts forever. I didn’t sleep. In the morning, we were supposed to get into a boat to cross the lake into the national park, but I had to get to a hospital. I couldn’t live in such pain anymore. We hired a driver and began the long journey back to Soddo, to the Christian Hospital there. Sam, Noah, and Katie had built a relationship with some of the ex-pat couples that lived in the hospital compound and served in various roles as doctors in the hospital. We went straight to the emergency room and I began going through various tests to see what exactly was wrong with me.
The doctor came back with a report that I was carrying a high concentration of Malaria in my blood. He explained that it was the worst type of Malaria, but I could be treated and would recover. Since I was planning on going back to Addis Ababa in a couple of days and then on back to the US, they decided to keep me in the hospital for a couple of nights and hook me up to the I.V. It was the most effective way to get the medicine into my body while being able to monitor my progress. Sam wanted to stay with me in the hospital, and I didn’t object. The hospital in and of itself was a cross-cultural lesson, with many stories to look back on. It was also a time for reflection on the majority of my summer trip to Africa. I came with high hopes, with definite strategies, with plans and ideas, but I left with many questions. Pages and pages of journal reflection uncovered unseen problems, cultural barriers, and deep issues that I could only see the surface of.
As I made the long journey back to Seattle, I thought more and more about my role in Uganda and Ethiopia. My first layover in Addis on the way to Uganda had reminded me that I will never blend in to these places I have come to love. My experiences in each nation confirmed this. Sometimes it made me want to stop my feet. Sometimes I wanted to give up and run away. Sometimes I wondered if I was doing anything at all. But it comes down to this – God has given me something. I call it a gift of revelation that these children are important to him. I am honored to see this importance and God has grafted this part of His heart onto mine. No matter what I feel or what I do, these children are a part of me and I know that no matter how large or small the end result is, whatever I am able to accomplish matters because of the value that these lives have in the mind and heart of God. He started something in me, and no matter how good or bad I feel, He is faithful to complete it.
Keep an eye out for stories from Uganda and Ethiopia of how God has had his hand on the lives of these orphaned children. God’s plans for them are much like His plans for us. “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)
Thank you so much for your prayers while I was away and for your financial gifts that made it possible to go and collect photos and stories. There is still much more work to be done here to get the sponsorship programs ready, so I would appreciate your prayers in this season. Blessings.
John Paul
I said goodbye to the children of St. Ameria. It was a good day though. There was a lot of happiness and joy, dancing and song. I was reminded more than even about why I came here. It was all for these little people. Their character development, care, and provision. They are made in the image of God and carry His beauty. They are broken and pained, yet continue to carry on and will make an impact on this world—for the time they were placed on it and long after they have left. They are distant to the mind of society, but remain close to the heart of God.
I am excited that I was able to get the information together for the sponsorship packets and have a better idea of how to go about the whole process. I was frustrated and overwhelmed how communication was difficult, but found that at the end, it all came together. No matter what the cultural or language barriers that exists. Edith’s heart beats and breaks for these children.
But now I am left with about 200 stories… stories that I am nervous to read. I am afraid of what I will find. My heart will break, no doubt. I heard the story of a girl today and what overwhelmed by it alone. I can’t imagine what the other 199 stories have to say. 200 pages of brokenness, yet hope. I find beauty in the paradox. Beauty in the fact that these children are wonderfully made for a specific purpose and can fully live that out. Bright lights in the world around them despite the pain they have had so far.
God, finish what you have started in the lives of these ones.
My first week-plus in Uganda has been filled with ups and downs, rights and lefts. I am glad that I am here, but it has been a challenge. I haven’t been here in 3 years, so I have had a lot of time to think about what I want to do while I am here. I am not disappointed, but I am surprised. I am humbled to realize that I can make all the plans that I could ever want to, yet, they could all crumble at a moment’s notice. I seemed to forget a little variable called culture. No matter all the indexes available to measure culture, it has to be experienced to understood. Even though I have been here before, its not something that I had taken into account fully, or prepared myself for the personal experience it would be.
Even before I got to Uganda, when I was in the Addis Ababa airport on a layover, I came to the realization that I will always be an outsider wherever I go. I am not necessarily new to traveling, but it is the first time I had this realization. For some reason or another, I always thought that I could blend in or know the right people to have sufficient knowledge and sway. I realized that this is not accurate. It is impossible to blend in because my mind and character, and even my physical appearance is not like those in the host country. It never will be. All that to say that I was in for a surprise.
In addition to working with St. Ameria, the orphan care center I have been communicating since first visiting Uganda in 2007, I have also been working with a group called Women of Hope. The group was started by a lady named Judith Kiwanuka, a Ugandan national who has lived at the YWAM base for the last 10 years. She started the group for widows and women living with HIV and/or AIDS. She started with 4 women in 2008 and the group now has over 80 members. It is quite remarkable the support network that she has established, and the fruit of it has become evident on many different levels like the reduction in alcohol abuse, crime, domestic abuse, and unsafe sexual practices. There is a long way to go, but they are doing it together. They have a lot of needs, but they still are able to share support and encouragement with each other.
St. Ameria has gone through some dramatic changes since I first visited, largely due to some of the work a few other people and I have done over the last couple years. It resembles an orphan care center now. They house orphans there, but it also serves as a school for orphans in the community. There are 30 orphans that stay at the center, and an additional 170 that stay with guardians in the community around St. Ameria. The number of families that pay school fees can be counted on one hand. Some others give some small food products to the school, but mostly, there is a huge need. There is a need for food, shelter, teacher stipends, house mothers and fathers, and sustainability and expansion projects for the children once they are too old to remain at the center.
Communication has been the most difficult obstacle. It is extremely difficult to speak English with people whose native tongue isn’t English. Ideas are lost all too easily. But, by going slowly and always asking, “Does that make sense,” some of what we are trying to tell each other is eventually communicated. It is exhausting though. There are other cultural differences like traditions, politeness, pride, social structure, and even travel accommodations that further build the barrier between us.
I have been getting quite a bit of photos and video from St. Ameria. I have also been talking with the director and the headmaster about possible solutions to their problems. When it comes to making recommendations, it is difficult to walk the line between being pushy and too passive. What I think is passive, could be communicated as pushy and the other way around as well. Its just so different. I mean no offense, but I can see why people from the West come into Uganda and other places I am sure and set up their own centers that operate by their standards. Its much more difficult for people of two or more cultures to agree and see a project through to completion. I have been frustrated sometimes, and pushy for sure. But, I think and I hope that my love for the children will cover some of the offenses I am committing, knowingly or unknowingly.
If you pray, please pray that I will have increased patience. Pray also that I will cling to God’s plan for these ministries and let go of the ones that aren’t compatible with His. I am in good health, but hungry sometimes and occasionally crave a beer. I am also missing Laura and Sam so much that my heart hurts. Thank God for Skype, but I am looking forward to being with them.
All for His glory,
John Paul
on my way to Uganda, I spent a couple hours in the airport of Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, a location that i have been to a couple times and one that i will go to in a couple weeks. I jotted down some thoughts.
Immediately off the plane the smells of Ethiopia came back to me, the scents I should come to expect but am always surprised by. They aren’t bad at all, but distinct. Maybe its the injera, spices, the dust, the people, or a combination of all of those things. I’m only here for 2 hours and again my senses will be infiltrated by another set of smells, sights, and sounds. These too are ones that I have been familiar with, but will again be surprised by.
Even in London, the feelings associated with travel in Africa were strong. The International Terminal with outbound flights to Africa seemed to have its own culture already, a stark contrast to the European flights. I even thought I was in Africa for a moment.
I have been thinking about coming back to Africa for some time now. I have developed mentally and have even become more “professional,” but no matter how much I learn or experience, I will always be coming here from the outside. I will never fully now the truth of the people here. I guess I thought I could eventually blend in or know what their joys, problems, and circumstances are, but should that even be a legitimate goal? Who knows, it seems like I am already going to be leaving with more questions than I came with.
My friend Devin and I worked on a video for this annual conference in Seattle called the Unbound Conference. The purpose of the conference is to spread awareness and encourage networking and advocacy to fight human trafficking and slavery. The theme of the conference this year was “Your Response to Slavery” so we titled the video, “My Response to Slavery” and highlighted the work that a few people were doing to combat slavery in their own ways. This is the result.
Here are links to the organizations and individuals in the video.
Over the last few weeks I have really been asking myself if it was reasonable to go to Africa this summer or not. I tried to make it out last summer, but I couldn’t. This summer, I want to go, but I already feel the financial pressure of being able to raise the money to get out there. It would be so much easier for my schedule and wallet to look into other options. I know that there is a lot of work that could be done here to help a lot of organizations out, but my heart is constantly reminding me of smiles on young faces in the places that I have been before. I feel like God has so much for me to do for those children that I feel sad when I cannot be with them, taking care of them, playing soccer with them, comforting them in the storms, or telling them that they are worth more than what the world whispers to them in the darkest nights.
I asked if it was possible to have a backup plan. A harness, a net, a chute. Something to fall back on if I couldn’t make it back. Honestly, I don’t want one. I would love to hope without doubt. I would love for my mind to run free with plans of what I could do with the time that I would have in the land far away. I hope beyond to the impact that it would make. I think further to the type of man I want to be, to what God has for me, to what he has for the world. Does this all play in? Does this moment, this field experience, this research question have an impact? Would I miss something if I were to stay and find something else?
I want to go. I want it to be possible. It might not be reasonable, but it’s something that I can stand in faith for. It’s something to work towards, something to hope for. I don’t even want to ask about what would happen if it doesn’t work out because I don’t want to let myself think that this won’t happen. So I won’t. There is nothing I would rather do than to spend a month in Africa, renewing relationships with orphan care centers, investigating trends, offering myself and the gifts God has given me, and the mission that He has placed in my heart concerning the welfare of these children. What else could I do?
*Written as a reflection response in my Practicum class.
During class, I actually asked myself what I was doing here. It’s a question that I ask semi-frequently because I get overwhelmed and worry about things. Usually, its fine and I can just take it one day at a time, one assignment at a time. This is different. It’s not really something that can be taken day by day. Sometimes the planning stages are the hardest because most of it is theoretical and idea-based, something that on paper looks a little odd even though it is filled with hopes and dreams. Converting these hopes and dreams into the reality that comprise the hopes and dreams is the difficult part; project that into the future and it becomes even more difficult.
I struggle with the details. I don’t think that my ideas aren’t valuable, but I lack discipline in seeing those ideas come to fruition. In true John Vicory form, I am already worrying that this may be the same. I worry that I will come up with an idea that I want to accomplish and it will go downhill from there. I won’t get the connections I need, I won’t formulate it into a thesis or ask the wrong questions, or something will fall apart mid-stride and ruin the rest… Or, it just might end up dull and ordinary instead of sparkly and amazing.
I knew where my sites were and I knew what I wanted to say as far as what I wanted to do there. But, when it comes to talking about it with people, especially in front of a group, I make it sound like I have simply thought about it a little bit, or it was still vague in my mind. I know exactly what Becker’s students are feeling because I have the same fears as they do. I am afraid to actually say something because I really don’t want to be wrong. I don’t want to be viewed as a failure or bear the brunt of people’s jokes. Not that I think people in our cohort would do that, but people “out there” in the world. I don’t want to set a goal that I can actually fail at reaching, so I set safe goals. I have done that for a while and have suffered for it. I want greatness, but afraid to do whatever it takes to get there.
I don’t want to live my life like that. When I think about it, I would rather take a stab at greatness and be brutalized in return than to look back and wish that I had taken the leap. I say that now. I hope that when it comes to this practicum and this thesis project that my daily steps would be to dream big and not let my fear get the best of me. Jeez, I feel like a need group therapy or something…
My church asked me to talk about poverty a little bit to tie into a message about how much money we spend at Christmas and what we spend our money. He asked us to think about how much we spend on people or how much people spend on us that is wasted because we don’t like the gift or whatever.
Anyway, he asked me to put something together for the service, kind of like a voice from within Northshore (the church i go to). So, I asked Devin to help. We shot it all on a Nikon D300s, 50mm f/1.4 with a RØDE microphone with video lights in front of a huge seamless backdrop.
The song is Needles and Thread by Sleeping at Last.
